"Full checkup?" Yuu echoed nervously.
Shoko Ieiri leaned against the doorframe, eyes unreadable. "Standard procedure. Especially for a transfer student emitting that much cursed energy."
Nobara gave her a look. "Back off, Shoko. I found him first."
"Oh?" Shoko's expression didn't change. "Didn't realize we were calling dibs on people now."
"Always have," Nobara said sweetly, tightening her grip on the hammer. "And besides, I asked if he was single."
Shoko tilted her head and looked at Yuu. "Well? Are you?"
> System Alert: Yandere Duel Triggered – Type: Verbal Possessive Conflict Participants: Nobara Kugisaki vs. Shoko Ieiri Recommended Action: Flee, Flirt, or Flex
"I—I don't think this is the right time to talk about that," Yuu stammered, raising his hands again like a hostage negotiator. "Look, I just got here. I haven't even met the principal yet."
Nobara smiled sharply. "So you are single."
Shoko's lips twitched. "Not for long."
Yuu's brain screamed for help. The Absolute System? Less so. It calmly brought up a new panel.
> Skill Tree:
Cursed Technique: Limitless [Maxed]
Cursed Energy Manipulation [Maxed]
Domain Expansion: [Unlocked]
Technique Copy: [Available]
Charisma: 1 (Strongly Advised: Upgrade)
"…Wait. I can upgrade Charisma?" he muttered aloud.
> [Click Here to Max Charisma]
With no time to think, he clicked.
Suddenly, something shifted inside him. His posture relaxed. His voice deepened slightly. His smile, when he offered it, looked effortless and charming. Even Nobara blinked. Shoko's pupils dilated.
"Oh my god," Nobara murmured. "Why does he suddenly look hotter?"
Shoko's gaze sharpened, like a predator. "He's using a technique. Some kind of cursed influence…"
Yuu coughed. "Nope. Just my natural charm."
They both looked at him.
> Charisma: MAX. Passive Effect: S-Class Attractiveness. Warning: May Intensify Yandere Responses.
"Oh no," Yuu muttered.
A knock came from the hallway before things escalated again. Someone new.
Yuu turned just as a third girl entered. She wore a white uniform with a long black skirt and had a soft, elegant face—one Yuu recognized instantly.
Utahime Iori.
She looked flustered. "Sorry I'm late—wait, what's going on?"
Shoko sighed. "Nobara's being territorial again."
Utahime blinked. Her eyes landed on Yuu.
She froze.
Her lips parted slightly. "He's…"
> Yandere Alert Activated. New Target: Utahime Iori Affinity Level: 72% (Accelerated via MAX Charisma)
"Oh come on!" Yuu exclaimed.
Utahime stepped forward. "What's your name?"
"Yuu," he said warily.
She nodded slowly, eyes glued to his. "Nice to meet you, Yuu. I hope you're not like certain other people around here."
Shoko raised an eyebrow. "Jealousy already?"
Nobara stepped in front of Yuu, protectively. "He's mine."
Utahime's polite smile didn't falter. "Is that so?"
> Yandere Threat Levels Increasing: 3/10 – Situation: Containable (Barely)
Yuu's eye twitched. "Okay, time out. Seriously. Can someone tell me where the principal is?"
None of them answered.
Instead, another voice cut in—playful, arrogant, and vaguely echoing through the hallway.
"Oh, so this is the transfer. Interesting cursed energy."
Yuu turned just in time to see her.
White hair. Blindfold. Long legs. Radiating cursed energy like a dying star.
Female Satoru Gojo.
She looked barely twenty, wrapped in a black coat over the standard Jujutsu High uniform. Her grin stretched across her face the moment she saw him.
"Well, well… aren't you just something special."
Yuu took a shaky step back. "You've gotta be kidding me."
> System Notification: WARNING: High-Intensity Yandere Detected. Subject: Satoru Gojo (Female) Affinity: 90% — Recognition of Equal Power Detected Danger Level: EXTREME
"Back off," Nobara growled.
Gojo ignored her. She stepped forward, slipping a finger under Yuu's chin. "This cursed energy... delicious. You feel like someone worth breaking the world for."
"I'm not food!" Yuu snapped.
Gojo smirked. "That's debatable."
> New Feature Unlocked: Infinity Charm Buff Gojo's Affection adds passive defense against other Yanderes… But also makes her extremely possessive.
Yuu rubbed his temples. "I clicked 'max stats' to become strong, not to start a cursed version of The Bachelor."
The door suddenly slammed open again.
This time it wasn't footsteps. It was energy. Suffocating. Ancient. Malevolent.
A woman entered, barefoot, with markings on her arms and a crimson gaze that could burn holes in reality.
Long black hair. Wicked smile.
Female Sukuna.
"Finally," she purred. "I've found you, my reincarnated king."
Yuu's knees buckled.
> System Alert: MULTI-YANDERE COLLISION INCOMING. FLEE, FIGHT, OR FAINT.
Yuu did the only logical thing.
He ran.
Straight out of the room, down the hallway of Jujutsu High, ignoring the yelling, the footsteps chasing after him, and the bloodlust radiating from behind.
His first day wasn't just cursed.
It was terminally romantic.