So, here's what happened . Kreacher — the house-elf who's basically Hogwarts' version of "Grumpy Old Guy with a Cleaning Problem" — found baby Valen again. And instead of being all "aww cute baby," he just sighed like, "Not this one again..." and did the most dramatic thing possible: he put Valen back exactly where he found him.
Yep, straight onto the doorstep of Black Manor like some kind of unwanted Amazon Prime package. 📦✨
Now, enter the star of our dementia show: Dumbledore — or as Valen calls him in his head, "That old wizard who probably forgets where he left his wand and what day it is."
One lazy afternoon, Dumbledore was flipping through the ancient Book of Admittance — think Hogwarts' version of a VIP guest list crossed with a magical family tree — when he suddenly froze.
There, shining like a beacon (and causing a mild migraine), was Valen's full name:
Valen Emeric Black Grindelwald Gryffindor Slytherin Ravenclaw Hufflepuff Peverell Ambrosius Hazelhart
(Okay, so the last three were heavily blurred, as if someone spilled invisibility potion all over them — or maybe Dumbledore's eyesight was finally giving out.)
He squinted, scratched his beard, and muttered:
"What is this? One kid with all the surnames? And why are some of these names half-legible? Alzheimer's or magical censorship?"
After a long pause — probably forgetting what he was about to do — Dumbledore made the executive call every forgetful wizard loves:
"When it's time to announce him officially, keep it simple: justValen Emeric Black G"
(G stands for Grindelwald . Because dropping these casually sounds way cooler at parties.)
And so, after some paperwork chaos and a flurry of magical bureaucracy, baby Valen was "relocated" to the infamous Wool's Orphanage — yep, the same place with the "No Nose Guy" drama. Kreacher probably muttered, "At least it's not my problem anymore."
But wait, plot twist!
The very next day, a fancy Muggle carriage rolled up with a couple straight out of a high-society novel: Mr. and Mrs. Blake, perfectly posh Muggle nobility who said things like "Isn't this just simply marvelous?" but were secretly the Black family's undercover squad in the Muggle world.
You see, the Blakes are the "stay low, sip tea, and pretend to be normal" branch of the Black family tree — handling squibs, expelled wizards, and all manner of magical family drama with a stiff upper lip and perfectly polished teacups.
They took one look at Valen and thought:
"Yep, this kid's got heir written all over him — along with way too many family reunions."
So naturally, they adopted him.
Meanwhile, Valen — born yesterday, and not yet aware of how wildly complicated his bloodline is — was already plotting his escape from Muggle schooling:
Valen's internal monologue:"Great. I'm a magical heir carrying the power of four founders and the dark wizard Grindelwald — yet stuck in a place where the biggest spell is 'Don't forget your lunchbox.'At least Dumbledore's good at keeping secrets… even if he's got a bit of dementia. Me? I'm stuck playing hide-and-seek with my own destiny."
And there you have it. A magical mess wrapped in mystery and family drama — sprinkled with a dash of dementia, a pinch of magical bureaucracy, and a whole lot of "Wait, what now?!"
Valen, meanwhile, blinked up at this new world —muggle schooling, here I come.
Except, spoiler alert: no magic allowed, no matter how many ancestral bloodlines you carry in your veins.
Which, honestly, is the most frustrating curse of all.
Want me to write Valen's first day with the Blakes next? I can already hear the sarcastic commentary and chaos brewing! 😄