Zayan Stared At The Glowing Text In His Mind As If Reading It A Second Time Would Make It Any Less Insane But The Message Didn't Change It Still Ordered Him To Crash A Wedding And Claim To Be The Groom As If That Was A Totally Normal Thing To Do On A Tuesday
He Paced Back And Forth In His Room Muttering To Himself Hoping This Was Some Sort Of Bad Dream Or System Error That Would Fix Itself If He Just Refused To Obey But The Timer Had Already Started And The Countdown Ticked In The Back Of His Head Like A Bomb Waiting To Humiliate Him
He Rushed To His Wardrobe Threw On The Least Wrinkled Shirt He Could Find And Sprayed Enough Cheap Perfume To Knock Out A Cow Then Grabbed His Wallet Stuffed It In His Pocket And Ran Out Of The House Without A Plan Or A Clue
The Voice Spoke Again Calmly As If Asking Him To Buy Milk Instead Of Destroy His Reputation Forever
Nearest Wedding Location Is Three Blocks Away At Moonlight Garden Marriage Hall Target Arrival Time Four Minutes Mission Must Be Completed In One Attempt
Zayan Practically Tripped Over His Own Shoes As He Ran Down The Street Earning Confused Looks From Bystanders And A Bark From A Dog That Clearly Didn't Like The Smell Of Desperation
As He Reached The Wedding Hall He Could Hear The Sound Of Drums Music Laughter And The Fragrance Of Fresh Flowers Mixing With Spicy Food It Was A Big Event People Were Dressed Like They'd Walked Out Of A Magazine Spread And There He Was Drenched In Sweat And Panic
He Peeked Through The Gate Hoping For A Sign Of Divine Intervention But Found None Only A Stage Lit With Pink Lights A Groom Sitting Calmly And A Bride Hidden Behind Layers Of Makeup And Embroidery
Zayan's Brain Screamed At Him To Run But His System Buzzed Again Sending A Jolt Of Reminder Pain That Made His Jaw Clench
You Must Interrupt The Wedding Within The Next Two Minutes And Announce That You Are The Real Groom If You Fail A Double Penalty Will Be Applied
With Every Cell In His Body Screaming No He Walked Through The Crowd Trying To Act Like He Belonged People Smiled At Him Assumed He Was A Cousin Or A Distant Friend But No One Suspected The Truth
He Reached The Front Where The Ceremony Was About To Begin And Just As The Maulvi Raised His Hand To Start The Nikkah Zayan Took A Deep Breath Climbed Onto The Stage And Raised His Voice
Stop This Wedding I Am The Real Groom
The Crowd Went Silent The Drums Stopped Even The Bride Froze With Her Eyes Wide The Microphone Feedback Screeched Across The Hall As Everyone Turned To Look At Him
The Official Groom Looked Like He Had Just Swallowed A Hot Pepper And The Bride Slowly Lowered Her Dupatta To Get A Better Look At The Insanity Unfolding In Front Of Her
Who Are You The Bride's Father Stood Up His Face Turning Red With Anger
I'm Zayan Malik And This Wedding Is A Mistake I Was Chosen For Her A Long Time Ago
There Was A Mix Of Gasping Laughing And Someone Dropping A Plate In The Background A Waiter Whispered Something To Another Waiter And Soon Phones Were Out And Cameras Were Recording
Security Guards Began Moving Toward Him But The Voice In His Head Spoke Again
Mission Success Congratulations Host Your Reward Is A Pair Of Invisible Socks And A Decrease In Dignity
Zayan Didn't Wait For The Reaction He Jumped Off The Stage Landed Badly On A Tray Of Biryani And Slipped Straight Into A Decorative Fountain Soaked In Cold Water And Curry
He Ran Out Of The Hall As Guests Screamed And Laughed And Someone Yelled After Him To Never Come Back
He Ran Until His Legs Hurt Then Collapsed Against A Tree Gasping For Breath Water Dripping From His Sleeves And A Stray Piece Of Rice Clinging To His Hair
I Hate You He Whispered Into The Air
The System Replied With The Same Calm Voice It Always Used
You're Welcome Host Tomorrow's Mission Will Arrive At 7 AM Please Sleep Well
Zayan Dragged Himself Home Avoiding Eye Contact With Neighbors And Locked Himself In His Room Where He Collapsed Face Down On His Mattress And Screamed Into His Pillow
The Next Morning Came Too Fast And With It A New Alert That Blared Into His Skull Like An Alarm From Hell
Good Morning Host Today's Mission Is To Take A Public Bus And Perform A Motivational Speech Using The Word Mango At Least Ten Times
He Threw His Pillow Across The Room And Begged Whatever Higher Power Was Watching Him To Let Him Die In Peace
But Deep Inside He Knew This Was Only The Beginning Of A Very Long And Very Humiliating Journey
Because No Matter How Hard He Tried He Couldn't Uninstall The System
And The System Had Just One Goal
Maximum Embarrassment
Zayan Woke Up To The Sound Of Screaming But It Wasn't Coming From Outside His Room Or From The Street Below It Was Echoing Directly Inside His Head Thanks To The System's New Alarm Feature That He Forgot To Disable
The Voice Repeated The Same Line Over And Over With A Cheerful Tone That Felt Like Insanity Wearing A Smile
Good Morning Host Today's Mission Awaits Your Glory Awaits The Public Awaits Say Yes To Mangoes
Zayan Sat Up With A Groan His Hair Looking Like It Had Just Fought A Hurricane And Lost He Rubbed His Eyes And Tried To Remember Why He Hadn't Smashed His Phone And Buried It In The Backyard Last Night
He Walked To The Mirror Saw A Crust Of Dried Biryani Still Clinging To His Collar From The Wedding Disaster And Wondered If This Was The Lowest Point Of His Life Or If Somehow The System Would Find A Way To Dig Deeper
The Mission Displayed In His Mind Was Worse Than He'd Feared
Daily Mission Ride A Public Bus Stand In The Center And Give A Motivational Speech Using The Word Mango At Least Ten Times In Under Five Minutes Bonus Points For Passion
He Stared At The Text Willing It To Change Or Disappear Or At Least Add A Footnote That Said Just Kidding But It Stayed There Glowing Bright Like A Curse From A Cartoon Villain
Five Minutes Later He Was Dressed In His Least Offensive Clothes Holding His Bus Fare In One Hand And His Sanity In The Other While The Voice Cheerfully Counted Down In His Head Like A Bomb With Manners
He Walked To The Nearest Bus Stop Avoiding Eye Contact With Neighbors Especially Mrs Imran Who Still Thought He Was A Superpowered Mental Patient After The Last Mission
The Bus Rolled In With A Groan Of Rust And Smoke And Zayan Climbed Aboard Squeezing Into The Crowded Interior That Smelled Of Sweat Diesel And Broken Dreams
He Found A Spot Near The Center And Waited Until The Bus Began Moving Before The Voice Whispered In His Brain With Too Much Joy
Now Is The Time Host Inspire The People Remind Them Of The Mangoes Of Destiny
Zayan Cleared His Throat Raised One Hand And Spoke With The Confidence Of A Man Who Had Nothing Left To Lose
Ladies And Gentlemen May I Have Your Attention Please I Would Like To Talk About Something Very Important Something That Has Changed My Life Forever Mangoes
The Bus Fell Silent Except For The Coughing Of An Old Man And The Squeak Of A Loose Fan Blade Somewhere Near The Ceiling
Mangoes Are Not Just Fruits They Are Symbols Of Hope Sweet On The Outside Strong In The Center And Always Seasonal Like Success
Someone Near The Back Snorted While Another Passenger Whispered Something About Mental Illness But Zayan Pressed On
In Life We All Wait For Our Mango Season For That One Moment When Everything Is Ripe And Golden And Filled With Possibility
You Must Climb The Mango Tree Of Your Goals Dodge The Monkeys Of Doubt And Never Let The Wind Shake You Down Before You're Ready
A Woman In A Blue Scarf Started Laughing So Hard She Dropped Her Bag While A Teenager Pulled Out His Phone And Started Recording
Zayan Continued With Passion Even As His Soul Tried To Crawl Out Of His Body From Embarrassment
You Are All Mangoes My Friends Some Of You Are Green Some Of You Are Soft But All Of You Are Delicious In The Eyes Of Destiny
Someone Clapped Another Person Booed And The Bus Driver Turned His Head To Shout That If This Was A Protest He'd Call The Police
Zayan Took A Dramatic Bow Nearly Falling Over A Sleeping Man Who Had Somehow Slept Through All Of It
Mission Completed Said The Voice Reward One Golden Mango Sticker And Three Experience Points In Public Speaking
He Sat Down Again Face Burning With Shame As People Continued Whispering Pointing And Laughing And The Teenager's Video Got Uploaded Somewhere He Would Never Find It
At The Next Stop He Jumped Off The Bus And Walked Home Avoiding Eye Contact With Every Living Being
At Home He Collapsed On The Sofa Tossed His Shoes Across The Room And Let Out A Sound That Was Half Sigh Half Cry
You're Doing Well Host Said The Voice You Are Now Ranked Number One In Mango Based Motivation In Your City
That's Not An Achievement That's A Cry For Help
Tomorrow's Mission Will Be Even More Delicious The System Added Before Going Quiet
Zayan Didn't Want To Know What Delicious Meant In System Language Not After That
He Closed His Eyes Hoping To Sleep And Forget The Taste Of Humiliation But Deep Down He Knew The System Was Just Getting Started
Because Every Day With This System Was A New Kind Of Stupid
And Somehow He Was Starting To Get Good At It