"…It was Christmas Eve, 1927. You were born amidst a heavy snowfall. Your mother only closed her eyes after giving you your name…"
The kindly old Yuanjang reached out to gently stroke the boy's delicate hair—black as ink, soft like feathers. He looked like a little angel.
Tangmu's dark, glimmering eyes sparkled as he lay on Yuanjang's lap, listening to the story he had heard countless times before.
"Yuanjang~ why didn't Mama ever wake up again? Was it because she didn't like me? Did she leave me behind on purpose?"
The old Yuanjang sighed. She simply couldn't bring herself to tell this sweet little three-year-old the truth about death.
"Little Tangmu~ she was your mama. Of course she loved you. She just turned into a star in the sky—Angsu—always watching over you. Just like her name, Meiluopu Gangte. She'll always, always be looking after you."
"Really~?" Tangmu's eyes lit up even more. He slid off Yuanjang's lap and toddled over to the window, climbing onto a stool. He reached his pale little hand toward the starry sky.
"Mama~ I'm right here! Make sure you're watching me, okay?"
Watching the boy's pure-hearted gesture, Yuanjang smiled warmly, silently praying that Heaven would protect this poor child. May Tangmu always keep a soul as pure as the snow on the night he was born—untouched, serene, and clean.
"All right now~ Tangmu, come back. It's bedtime. Do you want to hear a story tonight too?"
Hearing Yuanjang's gentle call, Tangmu let out a happy little cheer. In the orphanage, the person he loved most was Yuanjang. Not like that awful Ke'er Furen, who would pinch his arms when no one was looking, or the other kids who liked to bully him.
"Yuanjang, I'm gonna grow up fast, make tons and tons of money, and give it all to you!" he said seriously, holding her thin, rough hand, his little face earnest. He had seen her sneak food to the other children and drink only water herself. If he had money, Yuanjang wouldn't need to go hungry anymore.
Suppressing the tickle in her throat, Yuanjang laughed lovingly. This little boy was the most beautiful child in Wu's Orphanage, the most obedient and sensible, and the one who tugged at her heart the most. Even when he was bullied, he never tattled.
If only that young woman—Nawei Nuoren—had lived…
"All right~ I'll be waiting. Lie down now. I'll stay until you fall asleep."
Nodding sweetly, Tangmu climbed onto his hard wooden bed. He slipped off his clothes and ducked under the cold blanket, shivering instinctively, but still smiling and wishing Yuanjang good night.
"Yuanjang~ can you tell me again what Mama looked like? I'm scared I'll forget."
Yuanjang tucked in the blanket around him and chuckled softly. She bent down and kissed Tangmu's forehead.
"Of course~ I'll keep telling you until you remember her by heart…"
"Your mama had long black hair, just like you. Even though she was very thin at the time, her eyes were filled with love… Tangmu Mawoluo Lideer—'Tangmu, I love you,'" those were her last words, spoken with all her heart. I think she truly longed for your birth because she really, really loved you."
Satisfied, Tangmu closed his eyes. He didn't yet understand what love really meant, but he felt very happy. At least he knew now that his mother hadn't abandoned him. Maybe one day, he could find the rest of his family—and maybe then, he'd finally understand the love Yuanjang always spoke of.
One thing he knew for sure, though:
He really liked Yuanjang.
He wished she could stay with him forever—until he finally understood what "love" really was.That night, in his dreams, Tangmu saw a woman—thin, plain, her eyes fixed on his face.
It felt strange. As if she weren't really looking at him, but at someone… through him.