Kazuki was enjoying the finest day of his accidental city lord career.
He lounged on a floating bamboo raft shaped like a rubber duck.
A glass of lychee juice sat beside him. Smile wore sunglasses.
Tala was meditating on a seashell-shaped pavilion. Getsuryu, in true guardian fashion, floated like an island a few hundred meters offshore.
"This," Kazuki sighed, "is the life. No disasters. No magic explosions. No–"
BOOM.
An explosion rocked the harbor.
Kazuki's juice flipped into the air and landed in his lap.
"…Okay. That one's on me for jinxing it."
✦
Meanwhile, at Minatozu Harbor
Smoke curled from the docks. Citizens scattered, pointing toward the horizon.
Three massive, grotesque shapes sailed into view—ships made of twisted driftwood and bone, flying black sails stitched from sea serpent hides. Massive wings flapped on their sides.
Sea-Pirate-Dragons.
Tala blinked. "That's… new."
A sailor screamed, "It's the Dread Fleet of Orochibane!"
Kazuki sat up on the raft. "Is that a special sushi roll?"
"No!" Tala snapped. "It's a pirate-dragon clan that raids mana-rich coasts. They enslave sea elementals and loot cities for tribute!"
"Wait," Kazuki said slowly, "is this because I lowered smoothie prices?"
✦
The Dragon Admiral Speaks
From the lead ship, a monstrous, serpentine pirate in golden armor—Admiral Ryuujin—stepped forward, flanked by drake-headed oarsmen.
He bellowed across the bay, "I smell rebellion in this city! Who dares defy the tribute of the old ways?!"
Kazuki, standing on his raft, waved.
"Hi, I'm Lord Kazuki! I literally just got this job yesterday!"
Admiral Ryuujin narrowed his eyes. "We demand payment in mana stones, sea jewels, and one legendary creature of your domain."
Kazuki turned. Smile waved a little flag from the docks that read "Not for Sale."
Kazuki gave a thumbs-up. "Sorry, we're fresh out of those."
The pirates prepared to fire.
✦
Kazuki's Tactical Naval Genius (Accidental)
Kazuki blinked. "Wait, what if we challenge them to a beach-themed duel instead?"
Tala stared. "You want to fight pirate dragons… with summer activities?"
"Trust me," Kazuki said, standing heroically on his raft. "This is my specialty."
✦
Operation: Beach Blitz Begins
Kazuki's plan—if it could be called that—involved a series of bizarre events:
Smile summoned hundreds of water balloons infused with low-level mana. They burst with mini tidal waves upon impact.
Kazuki—still barefoot—charged across the surface of the water, slipping, sliding, and accidentally crashing into a pirate's ship wheel, which spun the ship into another one.
Getsuryu rose from the sea, pretending to be an island, then headbutted a drake-ship in half when it tried to dock.
Tala launched fireworks, which had been prepared for the Watermelon Festival. Their bright colors blinded the drake-pilots.
And finally, Kazuki shouted, "OPERATION WATERMELON INFERNO!" as Smile hurled exploding fruit at the lead ship.
They detonated in juicy bursts, coating the dragons in sticky pink goo.
Admiral Ryuujin roared, "What kind of… madness is this?!"
✦
The Turning Point
As Kazuki stumbled and fell face-first onto the admiral's deck, the pirates laughed.
"Your lord is a joke!"
Kazuki stood up, bleeding slightly from a papercut inflicted by a pirate's parchment map.
"Yeah, I get that a lot."
Then, his mana flared—unstable, clumsy, and powerful. A wave of ambient magic spiraled outward, crackling with humor-tinged chaos.
It hit a broken water balloon, which shot upward and smashed the ship's mast down. The mast crushed a dragon's wing. The ship tilted.
Smile leapt into the air like a cannonball and landed directly on Admiral Ryuujin's face.
The pirates panicked.
"THE SLIME HAS ASCENDED!"
"ABANDON SHIPS!"
✦
Victory (?)
By sunset, the sea was calm again.
Kazuki sat on a piece of floating driftwood, sipping a new juice through a crazy straw.
"Did… we win?" he asked.
Tala landed beside him. "You didn't 'win.' You chaos'd your way through."
Getsuryu emerged from the water with two pirate ships roped to his back. "We now have a navy."
Smile jiggled happily, wearing the admiral's oversized hat.
A city councilman ran up. "Lord Kazuki! You've saved us again! Shall we build a statue?"
Kazuki blinked. "Can it have me holding a smoothie?"
✦
Meanwhile, Elsewhere…
Aurelis sat in a cave surrounded by wyvern pelts and trophies.
He read the report:
"Kazuki repelled a pirate-dragon fleet… using beach games."
He crushed the scroll.
"HOW?!"