It was supposed to be a quiet night. No missions. No cursed spirits. No divine explosions or surprise sermons. Just peace.
But peace doesn't live at The Church of Last Pour.
The night began, as most things in the Communion did—with a misunderstanding. Deacon Flint thought it was Marrow's birthday. It wasn't. But he still set up a barbecue altar in the middle of the prayer hall and lit candles shaped like fingers. Father Asher, thinking it was some ancient ritual, declared the day "Feast of the Spirit Tongue." Juno, who was trying to meditate in the kitchen, opened her third eye and screamed because someone spiked the holy water with ghost pepper gin.
It was chaos, holy and fermented.
Meanwhile, Saint Spillglass was already half-drunk, standing on the chapel's cursed karaoke stage (a broken podium with a mic duct-taped to a shikigami skull), shouting into the crowd of misfits. "Tonight," he slurred, "we cast out demons through song!" He waved his flask like a sword. "And if the spirits don't vibe, they get vibe-checked."
He clicked a button. The screen lit up with the opening instrumental of "Cruel Angel's Thesis," cursed version—where the lyrics changed to "A cruel cursed thesis, this boy will become a prayer…"
Marrow clapped once. Flint set the curtains on fire. No one stopped him.
🕺 Meanwhile, Across Town – Kyoto School Dorms
Mechamaru had intercepted some...odd readings. Spiritual disturbances. Not curses, but not natural either. Almost like fate hiccuping. He called Utahime.
"There's an anomaly in Tokyo again," he buzzed. "It matches the same wave pattern as that 'incident' last week. The curse core was struck... by a falling man."
"Again?" Utahime groaned.
"I also traced a spiritual karaoke echo across six prefectures. It's... auto-tuned."
"Goddammit."
🧃 Back at The Church…
Yuji, Megumi, and Nobara had been "invited"—well, technically, Yuji got dragged by Gojo who wanted to crash the karaoke and "investigate" the Communion's suspicious good vibes.
As they stepped inside, a shiver ran down their spines. Nobara immediately gagged. "Why does it smell like... regrets and ginger ale?"
Flint passed them with a flaming dish. "Holy yakitori, blessed by sin!"
Yuji turned and saw Spillglass belting out a cursed version of "Bohemian Rhapsody", accompanied by background ghost moaning and thunder cracks.
"Is this safe?" he asked.
"Define safe," Megumi muttered.
Father Asher suddenly appeared behind them, draped in curtain fabric and wielding a ladle. "Welcome, children! Confess your worst karaoke crime and be forgiven!"
Gojo was already on stage, arguing with a cursed mic about pitch correction. Juno hovered in the background, whispering to a can of peaches again.
😭 What Should've Been a Chill Night...
...turned into an exorcism-by-karaoke. A spirit from the mic's cursed core manifested mid-duet—driven mad by centuries of off-key notes. Its form? A giant floating mouth and two karaoke screens displaying everyone's guilty thoughts as subtitles.
The cursed mic started glowing blood-red. The karaoke machine vibrated violently before bursting open like a soda can in hell. From the static-spewing screen, a massive floating mouth emerged—glistening, cracked lips with jagged teeth and two glowing screens orbiting it like satellites.
Each screen flickered lyrics in real time:
♪ "This dumbass summoned me with Maroon 5—prepare to die..." ♪
"Yo," Yuji squinted. "Did it just rhyme?"
"Yes," Megumi deadpanned. "We're fighting a cursed karaoke boss with auto-tune."
The giant mouth screamed, and the speakers lining the chapel walls exploded into cursed harmonics. The Communion members barely flinched.
"EVERYONE SHUT UP AND FIGHT!" Nobara roared, pulling out nails.
Yuji charged in first, trying to shoulder-tackle the cursed spirit out of the air. It dodged and blasted him with a soundwave so strong it launched him across the pews and into a decorative Jesus with sunglasses. He groaned, "I think I heard the 90s..."
Sister Marrow launched herself next—swinging her meat tenderizer, "Holy Smack," like a damn wrecking ball. She smashed one of the orbiting lyric screens. It shattered, showering the room in glass and pop lyrics. One shard read "baby you're a firework" before disintegrating.
The cursed mouth retaliated with a vocal fry beam that hit Marrow in the leg. She paused, flipped it off, and kept walking like she just got complimented.
Deacon Flint backflipped onto the altar and screamed, "I'LL BURN ITS THROAT!" before lighting incense bombs and tossing them like holy grenades. One detonated midair and accidentally re-lit the church curtains.
"WHY IS EVERYTHING ON FIRE?!" Nobara yelled.
"IT'S SACRED FLAME!" Flint shouted.
"NO IT'S NOT!"
The curse hovered over the stage and inhaled deeply. Suddenly, its mouth distorted, and it began to sing—a warped, horrific version of "Let It Go," rewritten into cursed opera. The soundwaves shattered windows. Nobara's nose started bleeding. Thorne sobbed, "That used to be our prom song!"
Juno, unfazed, raised her hand. "We need a counter-song. A hymn of emotional repression."She pointed to the karaoke machine. "Track 99. The Holy Banger."
Father Asher clicked it without hesitation.
The Communion's secret weapon began to play:
"Ave Spirits, Ave Struggles,Cleanse my sins with spicy noodles—"
Spillglass leapt up on stage mid-verse, mic in one hand, hip flask in the other. "BACKUP VOCALS, BITCH!"
Yuji returned to the fray, swinging a pew like a baseball bat. "IF WE GOTTA SING TO WIN THEN I'M BRINGING THE CHOIR!"
Megumi sent out rabbits that beatboxed on impact. One got possessed by the curse and started twerking midair. He dispelled it out of sheer panic.
Gojo appeared on stage outta nowhere with glowsticks. "This fight is WILD. I ain't even intervening."
The cursed mouth shrieked, trying to interrupt the holy chorus, but Spillglass harmonized with a drunken scream so loud it shattered the remaining lyric screen.Asher began spinning like a preacher on a Beyblade, yelling, "THE POWER OF FUNK COMPELS YOU!"
Marrow threw a meat cleaver like a frisbee. It ricocheted off the wall, hit the curse in the uvula, and knocked out a tooth.
Thorne grabbed the mic stand, stabbed it through his own shoulder as a binding vow, and shouted, "IF THIS NEXT NOTE HITS, I'M SLEEPING WITH MY EX AGAIN!"
He hit the high note. The curse cracked in half.
The karaoke machine went nuclear—short-circuiting, glitching, and finally blaring a beat so cursed it broke every hymn rule in the book: Cursed Dubstep Gospel.
Flint hurled holy water shots into the speakers.Spillglass grabbed the mic with both hands.Juno whispered, "Now."
The final line echoed through the church:
"This is our hymn...of drunken redemption...and karaoke-induced violence."
BOOM.The curse imploded into confetti and static.The Communion stood victorious. Gojo was lying on the floor with two ghost glowsticks over his eyes.
Yuji blinked. "Did… we just beat a curse... with a concert?"
Nobara wiped blood from her face. "I'm never singing again."
Megumi sighed. "I hate this faction."
Everyone of the "clergymen" clapped.
Except Mechamaru, who watched from a remote screen and quietly whispered, "What the actual hell is going on in Tokyo...?"
That night, as the Communion cleaned up…
Father Asher raised a mop like a holy staff. "Let it be known, we smote the cursed karaoke demon of 2025!"
Spillglass collapsed in the pews. "I threw up in a sacred urn. Is that a sin?"
Marrow nodded.
Thorne whispered, "The mic whispered my father's name... should I be worried?"
And Juno whispered to her peach can. "Mahito stirs. But let him. We got rhythm now."