Faced with Su Shu's inquiry, the golden-haired boy looked lost.
He had never had such complex thoughts, nor had he ever considered such profound questions.
He wanted to become a knight because he admired his foster father's image, and even more so because of the responsibility he shouldered.
The name of a knight represented justice, represented the hope of saving Britain—he had been taught this since he could remember.
It was merely... admiration.
Admiration is the emotion furthest from understanding.
"The bloody truth is, when a virtuous person is celebrated as a knight, all the crooked and vile ones can share in that crown of justice."
Su Shu's gaze seemed to scorch the boy.
"If it were you, would you be happy with such an acknowledgment?"
"..."
The golden-haired boy fell silent.
He was very smart.
So even though there were some words he didn't quite understand, he could grasp the gist of Su Shu's meaning.
And it was precisely because he understood that he found it so hard to answer.
...He was right.
If all knights were such righteous and good people, the roving bandits wouldn't have run rampant for so long, waiting for the so-called "Pale Silver Star" to go and single-handedly vanquish them.
Seeing the chaos the bandits frequently caused the townspeople, he too had wanted to contribute his strength and help everyone.
However, his foster father had dissuaded him, saying, "With your noble status, you cannot draw attention to yourself yet. A spreading reputation will attract Vortigern's notice."
Furthermore, he was told that he did not yet have the resolve to kill—it was naive and futile to face bandits with a desire to reform them.
"Always hoping for the good in people... to become a king, you are still far from being ruthless enough."
That was his foster father's blunt assessment.
And so, the golden-haired boy could only give up.
"Ruthless."
Those two words had pierced deep into his heart.
To become a king, must one learn to be ruthless?
The boy found it hard to accept such a cruel truth.
Until... he heard of the "Pale Silver Star" in town.
Someone his own age was performing the righteous deeds he had wished to do. This couldn't help but pull the golden-haired boy's thoughts from his troubles, filling him with immense admiration.
"Pale Silver Star"—this inspiring title was then etched into his mind.
However, at this very moment, listening to Su Shu's incisive words, the boy finally realized the malice contained within that praise.
...Yeah, why?
—Why should doing good deeds be praised as a knightly act? Is that reasonable?
This person was his age, yet he was burdened with this shackle of morality.
For an eleven-year-old boy to be lauded as a knight who slays evil, every single person in this region who called themselves a knight should be ashamed.
"I... I'm sorry..."
Realizing what the "knights" had done, and even more, realizing the immaturity of his own thinking.
"I don't know how to answer your question...
"But at the very least,"
The golden-haired boy said bitterly.
"You are... a good person."
"'A good person'... huh?"
Su Shu was silent for a moment.
"What a heavy word.
"People can tolerate the plunder of bandits, endure the exploitation of lords, and even grow accustomed to it, believing the law of the jungle is natural.
"And yet, they often have harsh demands for 'good people'. If there is the slightest moral flaw, they will vehemently question their motives.
"To be a good person is to have a sword pointed at you.
"In a world like this, 'good person' is hardly a comforting blessing..."
Su Shu shook his head gently, looking out at the golden wheat field swaying in the wind.
The silver that symbolized the White Dragon's child, standing amidst this vast, brilliant gold, looked solitary and desolate.
"Unfortunately, I'm about to disappoint you again... I'm not a 'good person' at all. I only do these things to satisfy my own selfish desires—I need crop seeds.
"I came today hoping to borrow your fields.
"To be honest, these rumors have already become quite a nuisance.
"But unfortunately, people tend to deify those they admire. I've tried to explain, but it's useless. I'm sorry."
A knight would never joke about a matter concerning honor.
Listening to Su Shu's utterly sincere tone, the golden-haired boy's expression seemed dazed.
Faced with these cruel yet realistic truths that he had rarely thought about before, he looked down at the wooden sword in his hand, a sense of disillusioned desolation in his downcast eyes.
"I'm sorry, Sir Alvin. This is all... I was too rash."
Ha.
Ha...!
He's so disappointed, so dejected!
This look, as if a beautiful dream has been shattered!
After all that talk, this was the exact expression I wanted to see!
Strangely, looking at the other's downcast and gloomy expression, Su Shu felt a secret, thrilling pleasure rise within him.
This is getting me so HIGH!!!
Yes! This is the expression I wanted to see—this look of a heart shattering in disillusionment, as intoxicating as fine wine!
Ah! A little more disappointment! A little more sadness! Just like that, show me your confusion, your sorrow...
—Wait?! What is this?!
Wiping a smirk that had unconsciously formed on his lips, Su Shu froze for a moment.
He raised his eyes, staring at the golden-haired boy's delicate face, feeling the intense pleasure surging within him. The hand holding his sword hilt trembled uncontrollably.
I really want to...
I really want to bully him, defeat him...
Even... defile him, violate him!
Make him sink into depravity, drown in despair, unable to escape—!
...Just imagining such a scene sent an ultimate pleasure, a brain-tingling thrill, through him.
Subconsciously refuting the ugliness of knighthood to crush the other's dream was also for this obscene pleasure.
...What's happening to me?
Su Shu gripped his sword hilt tightly, took a deep breath, and let it out slowly, asking himself this question.
Devour him! Corrupt him! Desecrate him! Humiliate him! Violate him—
It was as if a chorus of voices was screaming in his mind.
Holy shit, did I just awaken some weird new fetish?!
True, the boy before him was the epitome of a beautiful youth, all solid muscle, but his looks were only on par with my own, right?
I don't get a reaction when I look in the mirror, do I?
This... as embarrassing as it is...
I have a boner.
Damn damn damn! Why do I want to corrupt a guy?!!
Oh no, I'm gay!!!
Feeling the surging impulse within him, Su Shu was both numb and terrified. He was losing his composure.
Yes, he'd never seen such a top-tier, beautiful young man other than himself before.
So when he suddenly ran into one, his body just started reacting on its own?
That seems... horrifyingly plausible!
Could... could this be a side effect of the Ultimate Life Form's bloodline?!
Come to think of it, that guy Kars never seemed interested in women at all, but he had an overly intimate camaraderie with his comrades. The nickname "the three Pillar Men under the moonlight" didn't come from nowhere...
And my old man, Vortigern, never thought of marrying and having kids his whole life. I was only brought into existence because Morgan went to great lengths to create me!
Wait...
—Something's wrong, very wrong.
Feeling the throb in his heart, Su Shu had never felt such an uncontrollable impulse, not even when faced with the absolute territory of the witch's black garter belts.
As a connoisseur of hundreds, if not thousands, of Morgan's lewd pictures, he was certain there was absolutely nothing wrong with his preferences!
You can question my character, but you can never insult my tastes!
Rather...
—Who the hell is this guy in front of me?!
Struggling to suppress the tidal wave of impulse, Su Shu maintained a calm expression, held the trembling sword hilt, and smiled.
"I haven't had the pleasure of asking your name?"
The golden-haired boy hesitated for a moment.
Then, as if choosing his words carefully, he spoke his name.
"Al... Altoris."
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