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comedy

Oops, I rebooted the apocalypse (again)!

Did you ever wake up to the end of the world? No, seriously. Not the “oh no I left the stove on and now the apartment smells like death” kind of day. I’m talking real the end-of-the-world stuff. Screaming skies, gravity hiccupping like it’s drunk, your neighbor’s cat sprouting wings and declaring itself the harbinger of the Meat Singularity. No? Lucky you. Now imagine waking up to that again. And again. And again. To the point where you start ranking each apocalypse like a reality show. “Episode 88: Lava Sharks vs. Nano-Mormons.” “Episode 103: The Time Gravity Turned Inside-Out and Everyone Was Suddenly Left-Handed.” That one was weird. You know, it's like your dose of ordinary fever dreams. But daily. Something like that. That absurd, I mean. My name’s Rafael Vagathris. I’m a regressor. Which is a fancy way of saying I’ve died a lot, watched the world end a lot, and respawned more times than your average gamer rage-quitting Minecraft. Every time the world croaks, I get booted back to square one with a hangover, a sarcastic AI in my head, and the deeply comforting realization that I’m the only one who remembers any of it. So that’s cool. My helpful companion in this eternal Groundhog Day Armageddon is M.O.T.H.E.R.—the Modular Operational Time-Hop Emergency Regulator. Or as I like to call her, “Mo,” or “The Glitch Witch.” She’s technically here to help me stop the apocalypse. Probably. Realistically? She’s more interested in giving me daily randomized perks like “Your bones are now inflatable!” or “Congratulations, you are now mildly magnetic to forks.” She also assigns quests. Once, I was told to seduce a sentient vending machine. Another time? Defeat a goose armed with a rocket launcher. I'm still not sure who won that one. The goose definitely walked away. On fire. But confident. You’d think after all this time I’d have a plan. I don’t. Mostly, I just wing it with a mix of street smarts, recycled knowledge, and an unholy talent for bullshitting my way out of death. What’s different this time? Well… everything. The apocalypse looks wrong. The sky cracked sideways. The same people I usually save are in different places—or worse, alive when they should be dead. I mean, good for them, but creepy for me. Mo’s glitching harder than ever. The rules are changing. Maybe I did something wrong last run. Maybe I did something right. Maybe this time the apocalypse isn’t just something to survive—it’s something I caused. So yeah. New day. New reboot. Same cosmic disaster. And me? Still here. Still sarcastic. Still determined to fix this mess, or at least get a decent cup of coffee before we all implode again. And surely, finding some one I missed in every single loop. Welcome to the end of the world. Again. ***
IRespectMyFather · 9.7k Views

Switched Identities: I became the Beloved Villainess with a System!

After being betrayed and abused by her original family for years, Ji Yunhe finally lost all hope towards the Ji family and decided to switch identities through the Self-Saving System. From then on, she became Mo Yunhe, the pampered daughter of the villainous Mos who was treated like a pearl in the palm. Mo Yunhe had three brothers: The Big Brother Ceo Mo Xingchen, The Genius Surgeon Second Brother Mo Yuning, and The once-in-a-millenium Martial Artist Prodigy Third Brother Mo Xinhuai. According to the novel, they all shared similar traits: tall, rich, handsome, and one beating heart that is rotten to the core. The Big Brother often manipulates the company’s report to provide slush funds and participate in numerous illegal activities; the Second Brother–a despicable person who favors the rich and looks down on the poor, and the Third Brother–the genius who is looked up by many–likes to use his reputation and background to bully the other backgroundless students alongside his good-for-nothing little sister. Mo Yunhe who knew about their horrible endings: “...” Now that she had become a part of the villainous family, it was only right for her to save her loved ones and alter their fates. However, there’s just one little problem… [Alert! Alert! Host, you are not allowed to go OOC! You are not allowed to go OOC! You are not allowed to go OOC! Important things need to be told thrice!] Mo Yunhe: “...” How was she going to change their fates if they’re only allowed to become despicable villains who even passing dogs in the streets spit at? The pure and straight-as-pole Male Lead had an idea: “Why not be my woman? Yunyun, I’ll protect you!” The Black-bellied Second Male Lead: “Do you want to die? Dare to provoke me, that damned playgirl can only be mine, the villain!” Mo Yunhe: “...” Shut up, will you? My three siscon brothers are looking! Tags include: #light #fast-paced #comedy #romance #campuslife #crazygirl
AutumnsCicada · 5.1k Views

My Silver-Haired Classmate Only Speaks Her Heart in Russian

Alexei "Alex" Nakamura thought his biggest challenge in high school would be maintaining his perfect grades while hiding his monstrous intellect. He never expected it would be pretending he couldn't understand the beautiful Russian phrases whispered by his silver-haired classmate. Katarina "Katya" Volkov is the picture of composure—cool, elegant, and untouchable. With her striking silver hair and piercing blue eyes inherited from her Russian heritage, she commands respect from classmates and teachers alike. But Alex knows her secret: when she thinks no one can understand, Katya reveals her true feelings in soft Russian whispers that would make even the most confident person blush. "Он такой умный... почему мое сердце так бьется?" (He's so smart... why does my heart beat like this?) What Katya doesn't know is that Alex understands every word. Born to a family with hidden international connections, he's been fluent in Russian since childhood. Every "дурак" (fool) she mutters when he acts oblivious, every "красивый" (handsome) she whispers when she thinks he's not looking, every heartfelt confession she makes in her mother tongue—he hears it all. The irony is delicious, the tension unbearable, and Alex finds himself caught between wanting to protect her secret and desperately wanting to respond to her hidden confessions. As they navigate the complexities of high school life—from cultural festivals where Katya's heritage shines to study sessions where their intellectual rivalry blooms into something deeper—Alex must decide when to reveal his secret. But the longer he waits, the more complicated their relationship becomes. When she discovers the truth, will she be mortified by everything she's unknowingly revealed, or will she realize that someone has been treasuring every word she thought was safely hidden? From the hallways of their multicultural high school to the prestigious universities that will shape their futures, from their meteoric rises in their respective career paths to the altar where two cultures unite, Alex and Katya's love story unfolds across the years. It's a tale of two intellectual people learning that the most difficult language to master isn't Russian or Japanese—it's the language of the heart. Sometimes the most beautiful confessions are the ones we think no one else can understand. Sometimes the person who understands us best is the one we least expect. And sometimes, love speaks louder in whispered Russian than it ever could in any other language. __________________ Tags: Romance, Slice of life, High school, Comedy
AncientDragonEmp16 · 4.1k Views

Ben And Jen 10: The Ultimate Omni-Twins Journey

Basically a retelling of the whole series but in a version where Ben has a twin sister who also gets her own Omnitrix at the same time as Ben. second thing: Five years later Ben and Jen 10, the twins have settled down in Bellwood, trying to live as normal lives as possible. But when an alien conspiracy looms over Earth, the Omni-Team must reassemble, gaining some new friends and enemies along the way. What secrets will be revealed? What sacrifices will be made? And what is this destiny the Protectors see in Jen? Find out by reading. third thing: After their secret is revealed, Ben and Jen are moving on to new adventures with their new Ultimatrixes providing tons of new possibilities. Certainly going to be a help with the many dangerous trials awaiting for them. Members of the Scarlet Army: Queen Scarlett/The Scarlet Warrior (OC), Ryu Hayabusa (Ninja Gaiden), Kratos (God of War), Bayonetta, Avatar Korra (Avatar: The Legend of Korra), Dante (Devil May Cry), Eddie Riggs (Brutal Legend), Scorpion (Mortal Kombat), Sub-Zero (Mortal Kombat), Cloud Strife (Final Fantasy VII), Lightning (Final Fantasy XIII), Cole MacGrath (inFAMOUS), Caitlyn Kiramman (League of Legends), Ahri (League of Legends), Sona (League of Legends), Annie (League of Legends), Jinx (League of Legends), Raiden (Metal Gear), Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Lara Croft (Tomb Raider), Asura (Asura's Wrath), Aloy (Horizon: Zero Dawn), Jack Marston (Red Dead Redemption), Sasha Waybright (Amphibia), Alita (Alita: Battle Angel), Geralt of Rivia (The Witcher), 2B (NieR: Automata), Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Fenyx (Immortals: Fenyx Rising) P.S- Ben 10 belongs to Man of Action!
JakeHVoronkov · 90.1k Views

The Vampire's Luna

She's gonna kill the instructor, Alpha," Talon had said. "Or herself. Or both. There's no telling with that one. The sex ed teacher made her do diagrams today." Apparently, the instructor was relentless. No subtlety. No metaphors. No poetic euphemisms. Nope. Just hard, anatomical facts and brutally graphic expectations. And Luna? Poor, brave, deeply mortified Luna? She was dying. Every. Single. Day. Kyllian smirked as he stepped into his quarters. Her scent hit him instantly. He heard a thud upstairs. He climbed the stairs quietly, not wanting to startle her mid-breakdown. At the top, he paused, listening. "…and then she said, if you do not properly stimulate the upper hood of the clitoris—WHAT EVEN IS A CLITORIS HOOD?! Is it a hat? Why does it need a hat?!" Kyllian barely contained his laughter, biting his knuckles as Talon's voice drifted back. "Technically, it's a fold of skin. Like a protective flap." "Oh my GODS, Talon, get out before I break something over your head." There was a loud thwap. Possibly a throw pillow. Kyllian finally entered the room, casual as ever. "Sounds like your education is going well." Luna turned, her eyes wide with righteous fury and embarrassment. "I'm scarred, Kyllian," she hissed. "Mentally. Emotionally. Spiritually." He raised a brow. "That bad, huh?" "She made me draw a penis yesterday." Talon snorted behind her. "It was terrible. Looked like a deformed eggplant." Luna hurled a throw pillow at him. "GET OUT!" Talon darted from the room with a cackle. "So," Kyllian said, lounging back in one of the plush velvet armchairs in the sitting room "What did you learn today that has your knickers in a twist?" Luna, standing in the middle of the room with her arms crossed and a deeply offended look on her face, sighed dramatically. "I learned how to perform oral sex." Kyllian blinked. "I… I beg your pardon?" She tilted her head, sarcasm oozing from every word. "Oral sex, Kyllian. With detail. And a diagram. And a banana." "A banana?" "A banana!" she repeated, throwing her hands in the air. "Like, is that standard procedure?" Kyllian grinned, his amusement growing. "Come on, tell me how she explained it." His tone had shifted less teasing now and more intrigued, though he still wore that maddening smirk. He shifted forward in his seat, elbows resting on his knees. Luna narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously. "Why? So you can laugh at me?" "Absolutely," he said with zero shame. "But mostly because I want to see this banana demonstration for myself." With a dramatic groan, she snatched the nearest banana from the fruit bowl on the coffee table. The irony that it had been sitting right there, mocking her with its yellow smugness, was not lost on her. She held it up with two fingers. "Okay, so first, she said this is the penis…" Kyllian held up a finger. "Wait. Did she call it that?" ***** Luna is the Princess of the werewolf kingdom, trained to be ruthless and strong. At the Blood Moon Festival, she comes face to face with Damien Dragos, the vampire prince. The ancient fates mark them as mates. It is forbidden, it is impossible and yet the bond is undeniable. Will she betray her kind and surrender to Damien's dark seduction?
JoyceOrtsen · 111.2k Views

Dual Cultivation God Returns

"Wu Long, the God of Pleasure, has fallen as he failed to breakthrough." This news have shocked all of the Seven Boundless Worlds. Meanwhile, a sixteen-year-old disciple of a dual cultivation sect was startled awake from a coma, and after some moments of calming down and gathering his thoughts, a dangerous light flickered deep in his eyes: "Jun Shaoshan, I will climb back to the top and make you pay for everything, no one has ever been safe after offending me, Wu Long!" -------------- Dual cultivation is a method of cultivation that can be seen described in a lot of cultivation novels where a man and a woman cultivates together by having sex. -------------- ***DIscord Link: https://discord.gg/JfSRtJVXTd The Image on the cover is AI-generated with some minor adjustments and text editing done over it. Please check the auxiliary chapter with Frequently Asked Questions since there may be some answers to the questions you might want to ask. If you want to ask questions regarding the novel before reading you can do so in the comment section of the said auxiliary chapter. If you have posted a review and it is not appearing on the novel page and not changing the novel score, it may have stuck in the system (happened in the past and occasionally happening now). Please comment under the FAQ auxiliary chapter mentioned above if you notice this happen. I can usually contact support in daytime on weekdays and the problem is fixed within days and the 'stuck' reviews appear on the page. Thank you XD -------------- ***The explicit chapters will be marked in the chapter name after the chapter number as (R18) and will contain no crucial plot, only explicit scene, so if you want to read it as a novel without explicit scenes you absolutely can by just skipping the explicit chapters. Though as a disclaimer: dual cultivation IS the theme of the novel so there will still be some provocative or slightly explicit content in the normal chapters, but not full-on long explicit scenes. ***Since it seems that there are a lot of people that are very particular about what they want I will put here some of the things to expect so that it is easier for people to decide if they want to read this or not: - NO yaoi, NO yuri, NO incest ; - NO rape ( it may be mentioned, but only as a thing that exists, not in relation to any particular character ); - MC's heroines will NEVER cheat on him; - MC's heroines will NOT ALWAYS have V cards (but there will be a lot of them who do); These are all non-negotiable so if you cannot tolerate a novel that adheres to any of the above sentences you should probably skip this one. !!! WARNING (ADVERTISEMENT) there will be MILFs. XD
DaoistGreenOnion · 3.5m Views

BREAKING THROUGH HIS WALLS

Breaking Through His Walls –Synopsis Lena Marks never expected her life to be turned upside down by a man who seemingly had it all: wealth, power, and the kind of control over his emotions that made him nearly impossible to read. But when fate brings her face-to-face with Ethan O'Martin—brooding billionaire CEO and master of emotional distance—she’s thrust into a world where love is nothing more than a facade and vulnerability is a weakness. Their encounter begins in the most unexpected of places: the sterile, cold halls of a hospital. Lena, an ambitious psychology student with a deep understanding of the human psyche, couldn’t have predicted that her brother’s emergency would lead her into the orbit of Ethan, a man who hides his secrets behind carefully constructed walls. But the chemistry between them is undeniable, even if it’s one-sided—or so she thinks. What starts as a simple, seemingly insignificant contract—marry me to protect my image—soon turns into a battle of wills and emotions. Ethan’s icy exterior is impossible to ignore, but as Lena spends more time with him, she begins to see the cracks in his armor. Yet, her heart knows better than to fall for a man who can’t love her back. But as they navigate their fake marriage, a strange and undeniable bond grows between them, leaving Lena torn between her desire for independence and the intoxicating pull of a man who may never let her truly inside. As the fake marriage deepens, Lena finds herself caught between Ethan and two other men who challenge her perception of love and loyalty. A charming and insightful lecturer, who sees beneath her reserved exterior, becomes an unexpected source of support. And then there's a powerful business partner of Ethan’s, who knows the truth about their arrangement and offers Lena the kind of freedom she’s always craved. But Ethan’s indifference to her growing attraction to other men is nothing but a carefully controlled act. When jealousy starts to seep into his every interaction with Lena, the game changes—he might be more affected than he lets on. But Ethan’s past is a dark shadow that looms over everything they build. His first love—someone who left an indelible scar—returns to complicate things, forcing Ethan to confront the demons he’s buried deep within. And as Lena’s heart beats louder with every passing day, she wonders if she’s just another fleeting moment in Ethan’s emotionally fragmented world. Christian, Ethan’s loyal friend and emotional anchor, tries to guide both of them through the chaos, but the walls between Lena and Ethan only seem to grow higher. With each passing day, they inch closer to a breaking point. Will the truth of Ethan’s feelings finally emerge from the dark corners of his heart, or will his past destroy any chance they have at happiness? Lena’s journey is as much about self-discovery as it is about love. With her own walls built over years of emotional baggage, she must decide whether to risk everything on a man who can’t seem to let anyone in. As their relationship teeters on the edge of passion and heartbreak, both must decide if they are willing to break through their walls—before it’s too late. Breaking Through His Walls is a breathtaking exploration of love’s complexity, the walls we build to protect ourselves, and the vulnerability we must embrace to truly heal. Will Lena and Ethan’s relationship survive the tests of trust, jealousy, and painful pasts? Or will they be forced to walk away from a love they never saw coming? ---
Lucee24 · 13.9k Views