Liz and I are walking on the sidewalk of the road running along the beach. I'm holding onto her arm, while we walk and enjoy the chilly wind with the warmth of the reddish sun far in the distance.
The wind is moving my short hair and her long hair, and we looked none like grieving orphans who have come to spread the ashes of their parents and their only other relatives, their maternal grandparents. We look like those tourists in the distance, with an aura of calm and enjoyment over us.
We are also wearing bikinis. Liz has conceded to that request of mine after I pestered her in the afterglow of our sisterly bonding. We have remained naked, with me lying on her chest, and it only took me biting her breasts two to three times for her to cave in. Though I know she only found a reason to spoil me. She has always been like that even before everything happened.
That being the case, we are wearing thin layers of clothes over our bikinis. Another condition to enjoy the beach has been to remain on the sidewalk. Limping in the sand of the beach is more difficult, more painful. Liz remembered that from when we went to spread the ashes.
And of course, no high heels. That is a given.
We ignore the gazes we attract. Liz attracts most of it, but I'm not too bad either. I let Liz guide me forward while I look at the others in the distance, closer to the sea.
Some were simply relaxing on the sand, others were playing, and some again were in the water. The water itself was coming and going without ever forming waves big enough for some sports.
Overall, it is another similarity that I am seeing, that I am experiencing. It is like there were also perverts in my past life. Though in those echoes, I'm only remotely experiencing their existence. I didn't have to be too aware of them, nor did I have to guard myself at all times against possible harassment from them, not like now when being beautiful, being a woman, even, seems to be a sin.
It is the same as ever. People have desires, among which lust, like Ris, the security guard at the airport, or Josh, that… boyfriend of mine. People have arrogance, like that man who came to announce the death of grandpa and grandma.
He seemed like he was empathizing, but his emotionless inner voice showed the seemingly innate superiority he was holding himself with.
Beyond those, there are many desires, and seeing humans, like those I remember, they don't seem too different from those in my shadowy memory. They seem the same, so in essence, this world is the same, this society is the same. There is no fundamental difference.
So interest must still be what makes everything move. Whether to love or to hate, to help or to destroy, to kill me, or to ignore me.
So long as I don't touch anyone's interest, or I seem like that, the visit from the last time will not happen again, not after all this time, and Liz and I are still alive.
I don't know what she might know, and I don't know for certain whether the accidents have actually been accidents. But I just need to pretend, to make things remain as they were.
I will be a normal girl, one struggling out of sadness, and trying to look forward, to walk forward. From now on, whatever is going through my mind, it will always remain there, whatever I read with my mind, it will never show outside.
I smile and I point to the other side of the road:
"Sis, let's go buy some."
Liz smiles indulgently when she sees the shop of ice cream, and nods:
"Alright, everything you want."
I laugh, happily, and I limp with her help to the other side of the road. Though she prevents me from stuffing myself because of my wound and the possibility that it will weaken my health, I don't mind.
I pull her into other shops, and we relax. Our end of the afternoon, after we have helped each other unwind, is filled with laughter.
Liz indulges me, and accompanies me until the sun leaves, and the sky darkens. Then she pulls me back to the hotel.
Overall, we have not spent more than a few hours outside, but that is enough. Actually, more than enough.
My foot is already sending signals of pain. We take a bath, normally this time, and we go to bed. We have already eaten enough. Though, something different from before is that we remain naked, skin against skin.
It is warmer, and the warmth goes beyond the simple touch.
I bring out an album after I rummage through our luggage, then I return to Liz's embrace. It is something I took out from our parents room when Liz and I tidied it up slightly in a quiet atmosphere.
We go through the photos of our childhood. First with Liz at a few years old when our parents adopted her. She was cute, and our parents were happy to have a daughter. It is visible in the photo.
I feel amused, but when I look up at Liz from where my head is on her chest, I see that she is feeling nostalgic instead.
She smiles, strokes my hair, and turns the pages of the album. It is like a depiction of the life of our family. I appear in the middle, a baby held by a ten years old Liz who was missing a tooth.
"Hahaha…"
Liz smiles while I laugh. But slowly, I can't laugh anymore, as we both immerse ourselves in the memories, especially as the most recent pictures came up.
In the last picture where all four of us are smiling, I look at the faces of dad and mom quietly. Liz does the same, until she decides it is enough to feel sad for three minutes.
She closes the album. When I look up at her, she kisses me on the forehead, and does something that is becoming a kind of necessary ceremony now.
She holds her breast to my mouth, the nipple made obvious between the fingers she uses to clamp around the faint areola. She invites me with her gaze when I look up at her again, then I take her breast, and stuff it into my mouth.
I close my eyes, ready to wake up to the world that remains a world of humans, a world of desires and struggles.
I feel the hand stroking my hair tenderly, and my breath smoothens. Then, there is only darkness, and warmth.