I was a lucky guy. Hell, I think calling me just lucky would be a disservice, that's how unfathomably lucky I was.
So many events happened in my life that I truly felt special, like I was some kind of hero.
First, a powerful mage picks up me, an ordinary peasant boy. Then I show beyond great potential. I could cast complicated spells since the ripe age of fifteen.
I was a prodigy, a genius. If someone is to be a hero, it would be me, right?
And a hero must be charismatic, he must be loud, outgoing! But... he must also be brave and unwavering.
I considered myself brave and unwavering at first. I wasn't afraid to save people when they were in danger. I wasn't afraid of some social constructs that made me unable to do what I wanted to, or which made the world unfair and unjust.
But that illusion slowly went away, because... I left people to suffer. When there was a monster that was too scary, when going against the system had too many repercussions... I would just give up.
I wasn't brave, I couldn't go against all the unjustice in the world. I wasn't unwavering, my legs would shake and I would run at the sight of a powerful monster.
I couldn't be a hero.
But I wanted to.
I couldn't act brave, so I'll be loud. I couldn't be unwavering, so I'll be outgoing.
If I was loud enough, if I was outgoing enough, if I was charismatic enough.
Surely, I could still be a hero?
So I did just that. I was loud, made a lot of friends, became as funny as possible.
Everyone was talking about me. Everyone knew about me.
I was becoming the hero I always was.
...
But if I am the hero, then why is everyone progressing faster?
I was a genius, a prodigy! Why wasn't I getting good grades? Why couldn't I remember anything?
Why was I the only one stuck in place?
I was still far ahead everyone, of course I was, I was the prodigy!
And yet... they were catching up, and my back wasn't growing further away from them.
I finished the academy, and I was scared. How could I be a hero if I wasn't the strongest?
So I became an adventurer. I had to get stronger, to prove to the world that I was the true hero, the true prodigy.
Because I was! And the results were showing themselves!
I was one of the fastest people to level up in history! I was climbing the ranks almost as fast as exceptional figures of the past!
Yes, I knew it! I was truly a prodigy!
All of these monsters are cake! All of these missions are pathetic!
I was a prodigy!
I had to leave parties because they were not on my skill level, and join better ones!
Ha! Nothing could best me!
―My party members died, and I just ran away like a coward.
That was because they weren't good enough! If I just join another one, everything will go fine!
―Again.
Well, this new party is full of prodigies! Not quite heroes like me, but still powerful!
We had so many successful missions! We all became friends! We were on top of the world!
―Again.
...This was the final straw. It was me. It was all me.
I was not a hero, how could I be, when I couldn't even protect my friends.
I was a prodigy, but it's exactly that. Was.
I tried to progress further, but my strength just wasn't increasing. In our party, I was steadily falling behind.
And in the end, when I had to support my allies when they needed me most, I wasn't strong enough to support them.
I should've left. They would've gotten a stronger mage. They would've won.
They would've lived.
But I stayed. Because I was a prodigy destined to be a hero, so how could I possibly fall behind these normal prodigies?
...
But even so... even so...
I wanted to be a hero.
I knew I didn't have the strength to be the hero... but that was fine.
Because... heroes are charismatic! They are loud and outgoing! They are brave and unwavering!
I will support my friends who are sad! I will cheer up whoever I see! I will not run away when my party is in danger again! I will stand for justice no matter what!
I may not have the strength to be a hero, but I didn't care!
Call me a fake hero all you want! I will still act like one!
Because... being a hero is the dream of every boy in the world!
And I do not give up on my dream!