What a horrible day.
I thought I'd enjoy spending time with Tomoki-kun, but the moment I saw my father talking to him in the garden, everything fell apart.
I hoped that—even after hearing what my father had to say—Tomoki-kun would still trust me. But when he lied about their conversation, I knew it: he was considering what my father told him. A liar—just like the others.
…No. Who am I kidding?
He let me hug him. He granted my selfish wish without question. I'm the one who's deceiving him.
After all, I didn't even let him see my room. What kind of friend am I?
Just like Father said—I'm only showing him the "good" parts of myself. Hiding all the ugly ones just to seem appealing. And more than that… I took advantage of my family's influence over the school.
The truth is, I made sure I'd be placed in the same class, that I'd sit right beside him, and I already knew everything from his junior high records: "A smart, gentle, and sociable boy"—that's what it said. The only difference is that… his academic scores aren't great. And he clearly has no patience for cooking or reading either.
But... Fufu~... it's kind of funny, thinking about his flaws like that.
But you know what, Tomoki-kun?
You're the only person who makes me laugh from the bottom of my heart. I really enjoy talking about silly things with you. Whenever you ask for my help, it makes me happy—because it means you trust me, even just a little.
That's why… why did you lie to me?
Or maybe… maybe after hearing about my family, you started being cautious.
Well... I wouldn't blame you.
I guess this is how it ends. I should just do what my mother wants—be the next head of the Edomae company and meet everyone's expectations.
As for my father? Who cares. He never liked me. I bet he regrets having me as his daughter.
Sasaki-onee—no… Sasaki-san… she just wants to do her job. So be it. I won't trust her again.
And Tomoki-kun... I...
sniff
I couldn't stop crying.
Because deep down, I know I won't be able to make you happy. It's better to give up now, while I can still think clearly. I don't want to become like my mother—someone who stole happiness from the man she loved.
But... it's not like I don't understand her either. Because I feel the same.
That's why... Tomoki, please—just be happy. You deserve it.
Then, I heard Father's voice through the door.
"If you do this, it's the point of no return, kid. Let me tell you one last time… you don't know anything about her."
He's right, Tomoki-kun. You don't know the real me.
"That makes two of us. None of you know anything about me either."
Hearing that... it made me feel a little better. Maybe because… he talked back to my father?
"Ayame-san! Hello, it's me. Tomoki!"
"…"
"Hmm... Sasaki-san, do you think she's asleep? I mean, she did make all these notes and questions—I wouldn't be surprised if she's worn out."
…Is that really the first thing you thought of?
"Hey, Ayame-san. I'll be honest—I heard a lot from your father. And I want to talk with you about it."
Why now, Tomoki-kun? If you already know… why not just leave me alone?
"But… if you don't want to talk, that's okay too. I'll understand. Just know this: you're my friend, and I'll still talk to you at school like always. II won't change how I feel—unless you tell me, clearly, that you don't want me around anymore."
Of course I want you near me. When you put it like that, how could I stay silent?
I opened the door.
"Hey, Tomoki-kun… what a day, huh?"
"Don't sweat it, Ayame-san. Everyone has rough days, right?"
"You're right… so… want to see my room?" — I prepared myself.
"It'd be my pleasure, my lady."
"Fufu~ Come in."
I let him into my room. Sasaki-san and Father were still in the hallway as I gently closed the door behind us.
"Welcome to my humble bedroom. I hope you like it."
"Yeah! It's so neat and spacious. I just hope you won't feel cramped when you visit my place."
He's still planning to invite me to his house…
No. I don't deserve a boy like him. I have to say it.
"Tomoki-kun… what my father said—it's all true. And as your friend, I really think you should listen to him. He told you everything, right?"
"Yeah, he did. And I still don't believe it."
"But it's true. His past with my mother, the scholarship, even... about me. It's all true."
"Ayame-san, I—"
"Please, just go. You don't need to get involved with us. It's okay. You don't have to—"
He suddenly grabbed my shoulders.
"Ayame-san, listen to me, okay? Your father doesn't know a thing about you. Not a damn thing!"
"Tomoki-kun!?"
"You're the kindest, most hardworking person I know. And no one—not even you—can change my mind!"
...sniff...
Please stop. If you say things like that… I won't be able to let you go.
"I understand your father's past. What he went through was serious—but that's between him and your mother. It has nothing to do with you."
"…sob… Tomoki…"
"If he really has a problem with what you're doing, he should talk to you, not to me. How can he speak so harshly about his own daughter to a stranger? No matter what, he's your father—and you're his daughter."
I couldn't stop crying.
Because—for the first time—someone truly saw me. Someone acknowledged my efforts. My pain.
"It's true I don't know everything about you." — he said with a smile. — "but hey—where's the fun in knowing everything from the start, right?"
How can he be so optimistic? Why does he care so much? I want to know. I need to know.
"Tomoki-kun… why are you so kind to me? Is there something you want from me?"
He looked up at the ceiling, then down at the floor, thinking. Then he smiled at me and said—
"It's because you did the same for me. I'm just returning it. You know, I learned something from someone I really respect: Return kindness with kindness. Because when your worst days come, you'll need it the most."
"Oh, Tomoki... Thank—"
"And that's why, Ayame-san—I hope you receive twice what I wish for myself."
...
I was speechless.
I knew it from the beginning—he was special. And the more I know him, the more I like him.
If I give up on him now… would I ever find someone like him again?
No.
Could I live if another girl took him away from me?
NO!
I didn't even realize it—but something inside me snapped.
I take it back. I'll never, ever let you go.