Dasch: do you ever plan to shave.
Dude: i do not plan such things.
Dasch: will you shave then.
Dude: i might. it all depends.
Dasch: it's grown into a jungle. of course, no one would want to live there. it wouldn't be habitable.
Dude: no they are not meant for growing population. i don't see any offense in that. it's just a beard.
Dasch: if you are keeping it on for so long, why don't you make some use out of it.
Dude: what are you saying.
Dasch: you know how big afro people keep stuff like a hair comb or alike.
Dude: i think my beard would have to be much thicker. right now, it's not rich enough to have any sort of grip.
Dasch: that's why you take good care of it.
Dude: i however can't really think of what would be good to keep in my beard.
Dasch: it's all about functionality and utility. just remember that.
Dude: i'm thinking of spices.
Dasch: you mean like salt and pepper kind of stuff?
Dude: yeah, i could basically use them whenever i have food. it's gonna help me control the taste.
Dasch: that's pretty darn clever but how would you hold those spices? they are all powdery and grainy. imagine sneezing or inhaling. it's all gonna blow away or get snuffed into your nostril. you are gonna cry with eyes all red.
Dude: yeah this storage business using my beard doesn't sound very realistic. it's all falling apart. it's not gonna work out.
Dasch: i mean at least we tried despite how stupid it may seem at first.
Dude: anyway, yeah my beard. i don't know what to really do with it.
Dasch: you could just simply shave em off. what's the hesitation.
Dude: i don't know. it's been there so long that, i am not used to living without it.
Dasch: have you formed some kind of relationship with your beard.
Dude: it's not like i have any special feelings for my beard. but i just don't feel ready to all of sudden say goodbye to it.
Dasch: could you perhaps have trouble letting go when it comes to relationships, whether it's beard or not.
Dude: i've never thought about it. i don't know how you can go from beard to relationship chatters.
Dasch: i didn't really mean it. it just popped up and i just say what's on my mind.
Dude: i don't have much to say when it comes to relationships.
Dasch: could it be that you don't care.
Dude: i just don't have much of a relationship to even think about to begin with.
Dasch: i mean you must have acquaintances or fellows you've met and befriended over some years of your life.
Dude: i did encounter those. it's just that they did not all became friends. i wasn't interested in that too much.
Dasch: i mean as a social being, they all could have been your buddies.
Dude: well, back then, i didn't find it fun or interesting to have friends. i rather played tetris. yeah, i preferred tetris over having friends or anything like it.
Dasch: at least, you were playing tetris against some strangers. i don't think we can call them friends though.
Dude: yeah they were all just passing by. after one game, everyone's separated.
Dasch: friendship is not gonna work that way, for sure.
Dude: yeah, just building and smashing tetris blocks. that's all that was about.
Dasch: friendship is more like building but not smashing.
Dude: if friendship was like that, i would be more interested.
Dasch: not to disappoint you, relationship or friendship is more like jenga. it's about balance and tiptoeing on ice.
Dude: jenga isn't my thing. i have shaky hands. it's all gonna tumble and topple.
Dasch: you just gotta be patient, delicate, and smooth...
Dude: i don't think i'm made for that.
Dasch: maybe no one is. you weren't made for tetris either.
Dude: i actually think i was made for it. i keep find myself playing it like a natural instinct.
Dasch: but i'm sure it wasn't there from the beginning. you must have played enough times to get to that level. so you could get used to playing jenga just like you did with tetris.
Dude: but what's freakin frustrating about jenga is, i gotta wait for the other player. i can't keep going all by myself.
Dasch: that's the whole gist of relationship. it's not about one-side going full speed and intensity. it's like a collaboration. each has their turn and pace to keep the jenga going.
Dude: see that's another hassle and exhausting. ugh. i'm not up for it.
Dasch: i mean no one can force you to like building relationship like jenga.
Dude: yeah, i just wanna smash all jengas with tetris blocks. i could be handy when some people need to destroy their relationship like bulldozers and crushers.
Dasch: i don't think there is market or customer needs for it. you know they can just get destroyed by themselves. they don't really need your service.
Dude: think about a case where one side wants to finish it but is having trouble doing it because he or she feels bad for their partner?
Dasch: that can be possible, hmm.
Dude: you know like those shy ones who cannot end it until the other ends it because they are too kind.
Dasch: i've definitely known such personalities.
Dude: that is exactly i come in. i just deliver the ultimatum to their relationship. i will be like a middleman. if the partner has negative and even violent reactions upon hearing my news, i will be a buffer that will take all the hits, yellings, and dramatic emotions.
Dasch: does that mean, the client who hired you can just sit and relax and not worry about all the dramas that can arise from telling the partner himself or herself?
Dude: exactly, they get to avoid all responsibility. frictionless relationship ending. i am delivering that. it's economic. no emotions will be wasted. i will be an intermediary that takes in all that has to be said. no message will get to each other. everything filters through me. i just make sure they end their relationship in shortest time as possible.
Dasch: how would you charge your client?
Dude: that's actually part i'm not really sure about. i don't know what's a good way to measure how much value my relationship ending service is worth.
Dasch: this business is so special and specifically tailored to all clients' situation that, you may be able to charge something crazy.
Dude: i still do not want to be a money mongering businessman. i want to play by good faith. after all, relationship is a very human thing. we want to be gentle and graceful about it. we do not want our reputations to be toxic influence on relationships but rather therapeutic ones.
Dasch: i've never thought relationship lacker like you could be in that kind of industry.
Dude: never underestimate even their lacks and weaknesses. they might be teeming wealth of potential
Dasch: i'm afraid what other potentials you would be capable of, knowing how countless your weaknesses and flaws are.
Dude: i'm only getting started. you just see where this would end up.
Dasch: you do however know that you have to have customer and client relationships. you gotta communicate with your clients and stuff. so you won't be free from relationships even though your business is about ending relationships.
Dude: i do not like it. i know i came far with the idea. however, i'm not in for any jenga. i just want to destroy everything that's all. i don't give a crap. you can do this business instead of me, if you want. i don't wanna deal with any jenga clients at all.
Dasch: hence, it was another startup venture, never to see any light. perhaps your 58th. you found and bury it on the same day. you are like a silicon death valley.
Dude: so the saying goes. easier said than done. i'm perhaps not done saying and when i'm finally done, i might have finally done what i've said.
Dasch: i just blank in daze and wonder. i just have a feeling i wouldn't want to miss any of it.
Dasch walks out. Dude flips open his phone. Retro music turns on. Few minutes in, the music speeds up into a crash. "Game Over." It says on the tetris game.