David stared at the top-quality Light Ball gleaming on the table, its golden surface shimmering like it was hand-delivered by Arceus himself. A fire sparked in his chest. "This thing's basically Pikachu's Excalibur," he muttered, eyes wide with excitement.
Just as he was getting lost in his fantasy of Pikachu one-shotting Legendaries, a yellow blur shot up onto the table. Pikachu sniffed the Light Ball cautiously, nose twitching with curiosity. "Pika...chu?" it murmured, its eyes locked onto the orb like it was the world's largest nugget of cheese.
"Oh, you can sense it, huh?" David chuckled, leaning back with a grin. Pikachu continued sniffing, practically drooling at this point. Its tiny paws tapped at the Light Ball, sparks flickering off its cheeks like it just found the Holy Grail of snacks.
David rubbed his chin thoughtfully, eyebrows knitting together. "Hmm... there's no way you can carry this thing into battle," he mused, eyeing the orb. "That thing's almost the size of my fist! You'd be dragging it around like a shopping cart."
Pikachu stared at him, head tilted. "Pika?"
"Right, right..." David mumbled, pacing back and forth now. "The description did say you could swallow it. But, uh..." He glanced at the Light Ball, then back at Pikachu, who was now practically hugging the orb like it was his long-lost best friend. "I'm pretty sure this thing's worth a few hundred million... easy."
He winced, the image of stacks of Alliance coins piling up in his imagination—rows and rows of cash, more than he could ever spend. Then he glanced back at Pikachu, who was now licking the Light Ball like it was a jawbreaker. "I'm seriously about to feed you the equivalent of a house in Cerulean City, aren't I?"
Pikachu blinked innocently. "Pika pika?"
David groaned, clutching his chest dramatically. "I've never even seen a hundred million in one place. Never even seen a million in one place! And here you are, about to scarf it down like a midnight snack."
The system chimed in right on cue:[Obtained negative emotion value +20 from David…][Obtained negative emotion value +30 from David…][Obtained negative emotion value +40 from David…]
"Great," David huffed, watching Pikachu pat the Light Ball like it was deciding the best way to devour it. "Guess we're doing this, huh?"
David rubbed his temples, taking one last look at the shimmering Light Ball. "Well, here goes a small fortune. Hope you appreciate the taste, buddy."
David stared at the Light Ball on the table, its golden surface glimmering under the light like it had its own spotlight. He sighed heavily, the kind of sigh that said, I'm about to do something incredibly stupid, but here we are.
With a deep breath, he pointed dramatically at the shiny orb and announced, "Pikachu... eat it!"
Pikachu's eyes nearly popped out of his skull. "Pika...chu?!" he squeaked, head whipping back to David like he'd just heard the most insane thing in the world. His tiny paw pointed at the Light Ball, which was practically the size of his own head. His expression screamed: You want me to eat that? Are you nuts?
David nodded, face deadly serious. "Yep. Eat it. All of it."
Pikachu looked back at the Light Ball, then back at David. A bead of sweat formed on his furry forehead. He took a step back like the orb was about to sprout legs and chase him. His eyes darted around, clearly evaluating every possible escape route.
David, catching the hesitation, leaned over and inspected Pikachu's mouth with a squint. "Hmm... yeah, I think if you open wide enough, it'll fit." He gestured with his hands as if trying to imagine Pikachu's jaw unhinging like a snake. "Might need a running start, but we'll make it work."
Pikachu's eyes grew wider, if that was even possible. "Pika! Pikachu!" he cried, waving his tiny arms frantically. His look basically translated to: Did I offend you? Is this because I chewed up your slippers?
The electric mouse took another step back, bumping into David's leg in his desperate retreat. But David was ready—he scooped Pikachu up with one arm and grabbed the Light Ball with the other. "Alright, buddy! Open wide!"
Pikachu flailed like he'd just been told he was going to the vet. "Pikaaa! Pika-pi!!!" he shrieked, paws flapping everywhere. His expression was somewhere between sheer terror and outright betrayal.
"Come on, it's for your own good!" David insisted, trying to maneuver the gigantic Light Ball towards Pikachu's mouth. "Just one big gulp, and it's done! Think of it like... uh... a giant rare candy! Yeah!"
Pikachu wasn't buying it. His eyes darted around the room, probably mentally dialing up the Pokémon Protection Services. "Pika...Pika!" Translation: Hello? Pokémon Alliance? Yeah, my trainer's trying to kill me!
David was undeterred, holding Pikachu firmly as he nudged the Light Ball closer. "Look, just a little more... you got this!"
Pikachu's jaw dropped, and David attempted the most ill-advised game of Pokémon Dentist the world had ever seen. He wedged the orb against Pikachu's teeth, who now looked like he was about to explode from pure panic.
The system messages began to chime in rapid succession:[Obtained negative emotion value +30 from Pikachu...][Obtained negative emotion value +40 from Pikachu...][Obtained negative emotion value +50 from Pikachu...]
David heard the familiar system prompt echoing in his mind, and a few metaphorical black lines appeared across his forehead. He gritted his teeth, gripping the Light Ball tighter, and gave it another firm push towards Pikachu's mouth. "Come on, open up! This is for your own good!"
Pikachu squirmed like his life depended on it, paws flailing everywhere as if he was trying to swim out of David's grasp. But David wasn't having it. "Good grief, I'm handing you the most expensive treasure I've ever seen, and you're still complaining?" he grumbled, shoving the Light Ball further in. "Do you know how much this thing is worth? Hundreds of millions! Who else would be this generous, huh?"
Pikachu's eyes bulged as more of the shimmering orb disappeared into his mouth. His cheeks were puffed out like a squirrel hoarding acorns for winter, eyes darting around as if looking for divine intervention. His mouth was stretched to the absolute limit, practically defying physics. He stared daggers at David, tears welling up as if silently screaming, What kind of Trainer does this to his own Pokémon?!
In the corner of the room, Ralts sat comfortably on the bed, tiny hands pressed against its cheeks, eyes wide with curiosity. It blinked, tilting its head as it observed the chaos unfolding before it. Through its Psychic abilities, Ralts could sense the bond between David and Pikachu. Surprisingly, it interpreted it as... a good relationship.
Pikachu, who was still choking down the Light Ball like it was the world's most ridiculous jawbreaker, looked over with eyes full of disbelief. Good relationship? This? Are you out of your mind?
David, meanwhile, kept his iron grip firm, practically wrestling the last bit of the Light Ball down Pikachu's throat. "Come on, almost there! Think of the power boost! Think of the speed! You're gonna be zapping things before they even blink!"
Pikachu's mind, however, was stuck on, Think of not dying! Think of not choking!
Finally, with one last shove and a sound that was somewhere between a gulp and Pikachu's soul leaving his body, the entire Light Ball vanished down his throat. Pikachu froze.
There was no flash of light, no earth-shattering kaboom, nothing dramatic. If you ignored the sheer visual absurdity of Pikachu swallowing an orb nearly the size of his own head, it was almost... normal. Pikachu flopped onto the table, utterly defeated, eyes spinning like he'd just taken a ride on a Gyarados's tail. His face was the definition of I've seen things.
"Pika...pika..." he whimpered, voice barely above a whisper. (Why couldn't you just cut it up or something...) His voice was so pitiful, even Ralts looked like it was considering calling Pokémon Services.
David, oblivious to the psychological trauma he just inflicted, started patting Pikachu's back gently. "There, there. You did it, champ. See? That wasn't so bad." He rubbed Pikachu's head with a grin, as if he hadn't just force-fed him a glowing cannonball. "I mean, come on, it's worth hundreds of millions! You can't just chop that thing up! That's like shredding a mint-condition Charizard card. Blasphemy!"
Pikachu just stared blankly into the distance, eyes watery and filled with the kind of existential dread that only comes after swallowing something far bigger than your biology should allow.
So... love really does disappear...
Seeing Pikachu actually manage to swallow the Light Ball—an act that probably defied half a dozen laws of biology—David finally let out a long, dramatic sigh of relief. "Well, that was...something," he muttered, wiping the nonexistent sweat off his forehead. He looked down at Pikachu, who was now sprawled out on the table like he'd just swallowed a bowling ball.
"I mean, it was basically the size of your head," David chuckled, giving Pikachu a gentle pat. Pikachu's eyes rolled back, tiny sparks flickering from his cheeks like his circuits were rewiring themselves.
"Pika...chu..." Pikachu whimpered, his voice barely a whisper. He looked up at David with the kind of betrayal you only see in dramatic soap operas. What did you just make me eat?
David waved his hand dismissively. "Oh, come on. It was system-produced! You think they'd give you something you couldn't handle?" He paused, tilting his head. "Well...mostly. But look on the bright side!"
Right as he said that, David's system panel popped up with a crisp ding, shimmering in front of him. He squinted at the screen, and his jaw practically unhinged.
[Pikachu's potential has been upgraded: Elite Level → Quasi-Champion Level!]
David blinked twice. Then again. "Wait...quasi-champion level?" he gasped, leaning closer to Pikachu. "You...you were just some adorable little electric rat, and now you're practically juiced up to legendary standards?!"
Pikachu just gave him a deadpan stare, cheeks sparking with tiny jolts of electricity. "Pika...chu..." he grumbled, the tone practically screaming You did this to me.
"Oh, don't be so dramatic," David waved him off. "This is huge! Do you know how rare it is for a Pikachu to even hit Elite level, let alone quasi-champion? This is like...like finding a shiny Magikarp that can do taxes!"
He scrolled through the system panel, eyes gleaming. "Look at you, moving up in the world. Maybe now you won't get bodied by every random Geodude we run into."
Pikachu rolled his eyes, sparking out a few stray volts in what looked suspiciously like passive-aggressive Morse code.
But David wasn't done. He still had another prize to cash in. He reached into his inventory and pulled out the second item that came from his ten-roll spree: the Electric Seed. It shimmered with a faint glow, like it was begging to be plugged into something electric.
"Now this...this is a beauty," David said, holding it up to the light like he was about to propose to it. "This little guy can boost experience and even improve individual values. Not as ridiculous as the Light Ball, but definitely worth a fortune. I'm talking...hundreds of millions if it hit the auction block."
Pikachu's ears perked up at that, eyeing the Electric Seed with a mixture of suspicion and curiosity.
"Oh, now you're interested?" David smirked. "Don't worry, I'm not about to jam this one down your throat...unless you want me to?"
Pikachu instantly stepped back, paws raised defensively. "Pika! Pika!" Let's not go down that road again.
David just laughed, flipping the Electric Seed in his hand. "Relax, I'm not a complete monster." He paused, then added with a grin, "...But I won't rule it out if you get fussy."*
Pikachu sighed, shaking his head. His Trainer was a madman. But then again...he was his madman.