--I lost the bet.
Subaru was devastated by Rem's crying and laughing expressions, and by his own words from earlier, and what filled his heart was a sense of weakness, having been defeated in a battle in which he had supposedly thrown everything into.
Subaru believed that if she was so dependent on him, then perhaps it was possible. No, he hoped.
Maybe he'll drop everything and choose me.
It was just a fleeting dream. An arrogant thought. I should have known better.
It was his inability to see any value in himself that led him to choose to run away, so what was he expecting?
"Right now... you might not be able to laugh, but... you know, once you put it into practice, I'm sure you'll be able to laugh... yes, that's right. So, um..."
Even though the conclusion had already been reached, the next thing that came out of Subaru's mouth was a sissy excuse that refused to give up.
I can't think of an effective counterargument to Rem's words. But I need to keep saying something or other to keep my hopes up. Maybe she'll still change her mind.
If I keep talking to him, surely -- though that's probably just a convenient way of thinking.
"...I thought about it too, Rem."
Rem muttered, eyes closed, as she gazed upon the clinging Subaru.
She tilted her beautiful face slightly upwards,
"When I arrive in Kararagi, the first thing I'll do is rent lodgings. I'd like to have a home to establish the foundations of my life, but I can't afford it when I think about the money I have. First I need to find a way to have a stable income."
Holding up a finger, she spoke as if adding to Subaru's earlier prediction of the future.
"Fortunately, Rem is receiving an education thanks to Lord Roswaal's arrangements, so I think it will be easy for her to find some work in Kararagi. As for Subaru-kun... you may need to find some manual labor or take care of Rem's personal needs."
Laughing softly, Rem mocked Subaru for being unable to do anything.
Considering Subaru, who had little knowledge of this world and was completely incompetent when it came to skills, this was a fair assessment.
"Once your income stabilizes, you should find a more decent place to live. In the meantime, I want you to study so that you can get another job… It will take about a year until you can actually work. I want you to work hard and become independent sooner."
Surprisingly, her educational policy is Spartan.
She occasionally helps Ram with her studies, and although her teaching methods are gentle, she is merciless when it comes to giving assignments and problems. Although she complains about it, she also likes that about her, thinking that it may be because she is strict with herself.
"If we both work and save up a certain amount of money… maybe we could buy a house. Or maybe we could open a shop. Kararagi is a thriving commercial city, so I'm sure Subaru's unusual ideas could be put to good use."
Rem claps her hands and paints an overly optimistic picture of the future into the sky.
Subaru, too, seemed to be able to clearly see the scene she was having a vision.
There, Subaru would undoubtedly be seen working hard, sweating away the pain of Rem as usual, while still being spoiled and pampered by her.
I really hope that's the case.
How happy I would be if I could do my best for her, and only for her.
"Once my work gets on track... well, this is a bit embarrassing, but... maybe I'll have a child. Since I'll be half demon, half human, I'm sure I'll have a mischievous child. Whether it's a boy or a girl, twins or triplets, they'll all be cute."
Blushing, Rem shook her head slightly at how her imagination had gotten a little ahead of itself.
She counted on her fingers, and when the number reached a frightening ten, she stopped.
"It probably won't be all fun and games, and it won't always go as smoothly as expected. There may be a time when no boys are born, and only girls are born, making Subaru feel out of place in the family."
"...Rem."
"But, even when their children grow up and start treating Subaru meanly, Rem will still be on his side. They'll be known as the famously happy couple in the neighborhood, and they'll slowly spend their time together and grow old together…"
"...Remu."
"I'm sorry Subaru-kun, but if possible, I would like Rem to go first. On the bed, with Subaru-kun holding my hand, surrounded by our children and their children, quietly saying 'Rem was happy', and seeing me off…"
I can't hold my head up.
Rem's vision of the future quietly and gently hurts Subaru's heart.
"You can end your life happily, happily."
"That's enough..."
Rem concludes this story of a future filled with such heartbreaking happiness that it's bouncy, makes you feel itchy when you listen to it, and makes you want to rip out the depths of your heart.
What remained in Subaru's heart after listening to it was an intense emotion filled with sorrow that was difficult to put into words.
My throat is trembling. Something heavy is sinking deep in my stomach. My head hurts. Something hot is rising in the back of my eyes. I shake my head to hide it.
"That's it... if you think so...!"
She ran away with Subaru, no matter where she went.
But the plea,
"If Subaru-kun is smiling and hoping for that future... then I honestly think it would have been fine for Rem to die like that."
He couldn't reach the smiling girl who was enduring even more sadness than Subaru.
Staring at that painful smile in shock, Subaru finally understood.
No matter how hard he clung to her, he could not overturn Rem's will.
It was so clear to me that I had lost the bet that there was really nothing I could do about it.
"――――"
I was hit by a heavy feeling of fatigue, as if something heavy was weighing down on my shoulders.
Feeling weak and ready to collapse on the spot, Subaru somehow managed to endure the embarrassment and covered his face with his hands in despair.
Rem refused to accompany me.
And that means that there is no way to save her. If he stays by her side to protect her, all that awaits her as she heads to the mansion is a cruel fate - an unchangeable tragedy and a dead end to a cruel fate.
But then, does that mean he's going to leave Rem behind and run off on his own?
Doing so would leave him with an uncertain future, but it would at least allow him to escape the inevitable despair that was looming before his eyes. Of course, whether Subaru was there or not would not change the outcome of the events that would occur. It was just that Subaru would not have to see the truth - if he covered his eyes and ears and pretended not to know, he would not have to face the reality.
Even if it was only that level of salvation, right now Subaru wanted it so badly that he wanted to cling to it. But what salvation could there be in accepting it alone?
Fate will never forgive you if you challenge others to a fight, sink into the ocean of madness, or abandon everything and run away.
Then, what on earth has happened to Subaru――
"If I could live with you, Subaru… I'm so happy from the bottom of my heart that you wanted to take Rem to the place you wanted to run away to. I'm so happy. —But, it's no good."
Putting her hand on her chest, Rem tore up the escape ticket Subaru had handed her, then looked down, her cheeks flushed with emotion.
She runs away, and runs away, and she knows, above all else, that the dream she spoke of earlier will come true.
She still denies the story that declares her to be happy.
"Because if we were to run away together now… I feel like I'd end up leaving Subaru-kun, who Rem loves the most, behind."
"――――"
What is Rem saying?
Slowly lifting his head, Subaru looked at her with stunned eyes.
Rem gave Subaru a sad smile, but her resolute eyes pierced right through him. Subaru was overwhelmed by her determination, so she continued.
"Subaru, please tell Rem what happened."
I shook my head. It was impossible. If I did that, Rem would die.
"If you can't talk, trust me. Rem will figure something out."
I shook my head. It was impossible. If I let that happen, Rem would die.
"...But, let's at least go back now. If we take our time and think about it calmly, maybe a good idea will come to us."
I shake my head. It's impossible. If we wait that long, everyone will die.
"I worried about it...I thought about it. I suffered...So I gave up."
No one believes Subaru.
Nobody expects anything from Subaru.
Everyone warned Subaru not to do anything and warned him about his thoughtless foolishness.
I continued to ignore it, wore myself down, and made a lot of fools of myself, and that's how I got to where I am now.
Those times, that emotional wear and tear, for Subaru—
"---It's easy to give up, but--"
Suddenly, Rem spoke up in a weak rebuttal to Subaru's words.
--Akira is easy.
The moment he heard it, an inexplicable shock ran through Subaru's entire body.
The overwhelming impact, like being struck by lightning from above, was indescribable, and it exploded inside Subaru's chest, and a burning sensation took over his entire body, as if all of his pores had opened up.
"Is it... easy to give up...?"
"Subaru-kun?"
"Don't mess with me...!"
As Rem's eyes held confusion, Subaru gritted his teeth and let out a voice that sounded like resentment.
Are you kidding me? Is it easy to give up? Is it so easy to just drop your goals, turn your back, and run off with empty hands?
Is there really such a stupid story?
"It's not that easy to give up!!"
The unbearable pent up emotions exploded and were spat out on his tongue.
Rem flinched in shock at Subaru's angry yell, and the people passing by the main gate of the royal capital also turned to look at him, wondering what was going on in his enraged state.
Ignoring the rude stares of the crowd, Subaru glared only at Rem, who stood before him,
"Do you think I'm doing nothing, not thinking about anything, just cutting everything off, throwing everything away, and giving up?"
It was a tough decision. It was a decision made after shedding tears of blood, screaming until her throat was completely dry, and realizing that even then she still couldn't reach her goal.
Giving up everything is a conclusion to put into words, but it is absolutely forbidden to underestimate the sacrifices that have been made to reach that conclusion.
"It wasn't easy to give up...! It would have been much easier to think that I would fight, that I would do something about it...! But there's no other way... There's no path! The only path that leads to this is giving up...!"
The dead end of fate mocked Subaru, blocking every path that was presented to him.
No matter how many times you challenge it, no matter how many times you confront it, no matter how many times you devise a strategy, no matter how many times you try to leave it to others, and even no matter how many times you try to run away.
It is no longer possible to pick up everything.
How could he still try his best when even the people he wanted to help had rejected his outstretched hand? Who could tell Subaru that it was too early to give up?
After having been through the same experiences as Subaru, feeling the same pain and hardships as Subaru, seeing the same hell as Subaru, was he really going to be able to utter the same words?
"If there's anything I can do... I can, because... even I can...!"
I really want to do something about this.
I truly feel that I want to help, that I want to rescue them, and that I don't want anything to be taken away from me.
But he couldn't reach it. He wouldn't let it reach him. All of this was the result of Subaru's daily efforts up until now, all of those hours baring their fangs.
And so Subaru was――
"Subaru-kun."
Squeezing out her voice and squeezing all the emotion out of her mouth, Rem called out to the slumped Subaru.
The ringing in his ears was so bad, and he felt bitter about having revealed his shameful true feelings, that Subaru couldn't even look up at her face.
To such a pathetic, hopeless, and helpless loser who has succumbed to a fate that cannot be helped,
"It's easy to give up"
"――――"
"but"
Rem once again repeated the words that had enraged Subaru earlier.
Feeling something unbelievable in what she said, Subaru raised his head, his lips trembling.
Why don't they understand?
Even after all this, does she still not understand Subaru's suffering?
Such inner depression, dissatisfaction, sentimentality like taking out one's anger,
"--It doesn't suit you, Subaru-kun."
Staring straight into Subaru's black eyes, she made that assertion before vanishing into thin air.
※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※
Rem spoke clearly, as if she truly believed that it was the absolute right thing to do.
"Rem doesn't understand how painful Subaru-kun must have been, or what he must have known that has caused him so much pain. I know that I can't just flippantly say I understand."
"――――"
"But even so, there's one thing that even Rem knows."
"――――"
"Subaru-kun, you're not the kind of person who can give up on something halfway through."
To the man in front of her who was heartbroken, had thrown everything away, and had just spoken of giving up, Rem spoke without shame, fear, or wavering.
"Rem knows."
"――――"
"I know that when Subaru-kun looks forward to the future, he is the kind of person who can laugh about it."
"――――"
The man's face was crumpled with guilt and regret as he spoke of the world that he and Rem had fled to, a world that was sure to be peaceful and comfortable. Rem neither mocked him nor showed any signs of disappointment, but continued to speak with a straight look in her eyes.
"Rem knows."
"――――"
"I know that Subaru-kun is someone who can't give up on the future."
Rem declared as Subaru looked down, pondering the matter.
There was only a sincere sparkle in her eyes, and the only color that floated there was one that believed completely in Subaru.
Subaru is overwhelmed by the intense and powerful glow.
Because, that was just a misunderstanding on her part. A ridiculous misunderstanding, a statement that showed she had overestimated Subaru as a person.
It is unclear how noble and proud a person the Subaru reflected in Rem's eyes was.
However, there's no way the real Subaru could be such an amazing person.
He whines, is discouraged by adversity, realizes how pathetic his own smallness is, and is overcome with a sense of defeat and tries to run away—that is Natsuki Subaru.
"No... I'm not that kind of person... I..."
"That's true. Subaru-kun has never given up on anyone… on Emilia-sama, on my sister, on Roswaal-sama, or on anyone else."
She denied it in a strong tone. But it was a mistake. Subaru threw them away.
"I gave up, I gave up. It was impossible to pick up everything... my palms are small, everything just spills out and there's nothing left..."
"No, that's not the case. Subaru-kun—"
Always, always, she denied Subaru's resignation.
Why was she refusing to admit that Subaru had made such a disgrace of himself? How did she see Subaru?
It was so unpleasant that I couldn't bear it,
--No matter how much you say it,
"--You! What do you know about me?! What do you know about me?!"
The passion, the flames burning inside his chest, erupted with a scorching red light.
Subaru roared, and slammed his fist into the wall nearby. There was a hard thud, and red blood splattered onto the wall from his shattered fist. He spread it roughly with his palm,
「I'm only this kind of man! I have high hopes despite having no power, I only dream despite having no wisdom, I struggle in vain despite there being nothing I can do…!」
Everyone has at least one good quality.
And by developing that one strength, everyone can reach the appropriate place.
ーーBut Natsuki Subaru didn't even have that. Even though he didn't have that, the height of his desired destination was just too high.
「I...! I, I hate myself!!」
He'd been laughing and deceiving her, making jokes and running away, never really facing the reality - faced with that, Subaru had been revealing his true feelings for the first time.
Natsuki Subaru hated himself more than anyone else.
"You're always all talk! You can't do anything but you act all high and mighty! You don't do anything yourself, but when you complain you act like you're the real deal! Who do you think you are!? You really do have the nerve to live without any shame! Right!?"
It is the underhandedness of trying to make oneself look superior by comparatively degrading others because one cannot improve oneself. It is the baseness of trying to protect one's own shallow pride by pretending to nitpick because one does not want to admit that one is inferior to others.
"I'm empty. My insides are empty. Of course... yeah, of course. Of course! Do you know what I've done to get here, to get to the point where I'm meeting you all like this?!"
Before falling into another world.
In his former world, what had he been doing during those boring, mundane days where nothing changed?
"---I haven't done anything."
I have spent my days indulging in laziness and sleep, with no effort or training whatsoever.
That said, I haven't given up on myself, and I'm just thinking conveniently that when the time comes, I'll just try my best.
"I haven't done anything... I haven't done a single thing! I had all that time! All that freedom! I could have done anything, but I didn't do anything! This is the result! This is who I am now!"
If Subaru had put his abundant time to good use, he could have become anything he wanted.
However, in reality, Subaru had squandered the time given to him in vain, and as a result, he had gained nothing, nor even produced anything.
So when the time comes when you truly want to do something, you find that you have neither the strength, wisdom, nor skills to accomplish it.
"My powerlessness, my incompetence, everything, everything! It's all because of my... rotten nature! There's a limit to how arrogant I can be to want to accomplish something when I've done nothing at all... The price of my laziness, my grand habit of squandering my life, will kill you and me."
There's no hope for me. There's nothing I can do.
Even if I could be reborn, I'm sure I would take the same path, waste the same amount of time, come to this place with the same feelings, and have the same regrets.
His rotten nature would not change. The man called Natsuki Subaru only possessed such shallow humanity. That fact would not waver.
"That's right, my character and all… even though I ended up living in this place, nothing has changed. Old man Wilhelm saw right through that about me. Right?"
Subaru remained in the royal capital and received sword training from Wilhelm at Crusch's mansion.
Seeing Subaru continue to challenge him even after being knocked down again and again, and even though he was completely worn down, the old man saw through his true intentions.
"I thought it would be pointless to preach about how to become stronger to someone who has no intention of becoming stronger."
During the days of training, when he had defeated Subaru and spoke of the mindset of one swinging a sword, the old man had shook his head in response.
At the time, Subaru denied understanding, denied knowing what she was talking about - but in his heart, he knew exactly what it meant.
"It's not like I was trying to get stronger or achieve anything… I was just trying to make it clear that I wasn't doing nothing, that I was making an effort… I was just trying to justify myself like that…"
Abandoned by Emilia, he was subjected to the most humiliating treatment possible at the royal selection.
He couldn't bear the sight of those around him looking at him like that, so he tried to protect himself by pretending to be "making an effort" to be seen by them.
--I'm doing my best. It's not like I'm not doing anything. I'm trying to change.
That's how I looked for a reason to compromise, and ended up doing that.
I was trying to change, even though the very idea was proof that nothing had changed.
"I want to say it can't be helped! I want you to say it can't be helped! That's all! That's all I've been pretending to put my life on the line like that! Even making you study with me was just a pose to hide my embarrassment! At my core, I'm still that small, cowardly, filthy person who only cares about what others think of me! Nothing has changed..."
The pretense is peeling away. The vanity is crumbling.
The vanity of not wanting to be thought badly of by others and the selfishness of wanting to insist that one is not wrong burst out from the flimsy shell.
"...The truth is, I knew it. That it was all my fault."
It would have been easy to blame someone, find some reason, and attack it loudly.
You don't have to see your true self, you don't have to show your true self, and as long as you don't just peel off the surface, no one will be able to see what you're carrying inside.
I'm weak, selfish, and always screaming, but I still want to be loved.
Because I won't be able to see such an ugly side of myself, I won't have to see such an ugly side of myself.
"I'm the worst... I, I hate myself."
Spitting out all the darkness that had built up in his chest, Subaru took a rough breath.
It was like a murky, filthy mess that had been building up inside me since I came to this other world―― No, it was like I had been pent up in my mind since my original world, and I let it all out to my heart's content.
Even I think it's a disgusting trait of mine.
Even after getting it all out, the sickening feeling still remains. Surely, if you let out everything that's been building up inside you, you should feel a little lighter?
Not only is it not making me feel any better, but now that I've finally realized my own stupidity by putting it into words, I'm overcome with so much shame that I just want to die right now.
And what was most foolish of all was the weakness of having spewed all that filth and then only thinking about myself.
Right now, before his very eyes, Rem had been looking at him with eyes of complete faith, and Subaru had pretended to paint over everything she saw with black paint, telling her that the glow she saw was all an illusion, but he prioritized his own cuteness over worrying about her.
In the end, that's how it is.
Even if you acknowledge and realize the parts of yourself that you dislike, your bad points, and your shortcomings, it doesn't necessarily mean that you can immediately improve them. Rather, the noticeable holes may be so deep and dark that they even take away the will to do something about them.
The gaping void was proof that Natsuki Subaru was a person who was lacking in himself. The fact that he had no desire to take action in the face of it was also a testament to his passive decadence.
Subaru was not even worthy of being pitied. Hearing the filthy ego that had been lingering in the depths of his heart, even the blue-haired girl finally――,
"Rem knows."
"――――"
"That Subaru-kun is a brave person who will reach out even in the darkest of times."
--But even so, Rem did not give up on Subaru.
※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※
This absolute affection, this complete trust, made Subaru feel an uneasiness he had never felt before.
Even though I had cursed him so viciously, even though I had exposed my ugly true feelings, even though I had confessed to him face to face that everything was a lie and that I was a hopeless piece of trash,
--Why was she looking at Subaru with such loving eyes?
"I like being stroked by Subaru. I feel like I can communicate with him through his palms and hair."
Quietly, and steadily, she suddenly began to speak to the silent Subaru.
"I like Subaru's voice. Every time I hear one of your words, I feel my heart warm. I like Subaru's eyes. They are usually sharp, but I love how they soften when he is trying to be kind to someone."
As if to press the speechless Subaru, Rem continued.
"I like Subaru's fingers. Even though he's a boy, he has beautiful fingers, and when I hold them, I really do feel that he's a boy because they are strong and slender. I like the way Subaru walks. When we walk next to each other, he sometimes turns his head to check if I'm following him, and I love the way he walks."
My heart was screaming.
Every time Rem stringed together words like that, a scream echoed in Subaru's chest.
"...Stop it."
"I like the way Subaru looks when he sleeps. He's defenseless like a baby, and his eyelashes are kind of long. He becomes calm when I touch his cheek, and doesn't even notice when I mischievously touch his lips… it makes my heart ache so much, I love him."
"Why..."
Are you going to continue saying those words?
Why do they keep saying such things to Subaru, who is so foolish and has nothing?
"If you say that you hate yourself, Subaru, I wanted you to know that I know all the good things about you."
"That's just an illusion!"
What Rem is seeing is a convenient illusion.
The real Subaru is not that kind of person. The real Subaru is much more depraved. The polar opposite of the Subaru that Rem views with kindness, there is a Subaru that is much more malicious.
"You just don't understand! You know yourself better than anyone else!"
"Subaru-kun only knows about himself! How much do you think Subaru-kun knows about the Subaru-kun that Rem sees!?"
Reflexively raising her voice, Rem shouted even louder, overlapping the first.
Subaru was surprised to hear her speak out loud for the first time since they had come to this place. Shocked, he held his breath, and finally noticed large tears welling up in Rem's eyes as she tried her best to keep a neutral expression.
There was no way that Subaru's words wouldn't have hurt her.
It was impossible for her kind-heartedness not to have been hurt by hearing Subaru's self-deprecating rants.
But still, she believed in Subaru.
Even after hearing about how his inner self had been so nastily spoken about, Rem still believed in Subaru.
"Why... why do you do that to me... I'm weak, small, and... run away... It was the same last time, I ran away, but even so..."
--How can you have so much faith in me, someone so pathetic, so unreliable, so constantly succumbing to my own weakness? How can you have so much faith in me, someone I can't even believe in myself?
"--Because, Subaru-kun is Rem's hero."
Those words of unconditional, complete trust made Subaru's heart tremble quietly.
No matter what adverse conditions were piled upon him, no matter what flaws were exposed, that one word was filled with the desire to repel all of those malice.
And then, too late, Subaru finally realized.
I was mistaken. I was mistaken. I was simply wrong.
She had believed that Rem was the only one who would tolerate Subaru's decadence to the fullest. She mistakenly believed that no matter how weak and pathetic a disgrace he presented, she would forgive him.
That is a mistake. A mistake. A deadly stupidity.
--Rem was the only one who would never tolerate Subaru being spoiled.
Everyone told Subaru that he didn't have to do anything, that he should just stay quiet and not do anything pointless.
No one had any expectations of Subaru, and continued to say that his actions were pointless.
--Rem alone would not tolerate Subaru's weakness.
She is the only one who keeps telling him to stand up, not to give up, and to save everything.
No one expects anything from Subaru. Even Subaru himself has abandoned him, but she is the only one who will never abandon him or accept him.
It was the "curse" that Natsuki Subaru had placed on her.
"In that dim forest, in a world where even her sense of self was unclear, Rem was unable to think of anything other than rampaging around, and you came to her rescue."
"――――"
"For acting as a decoy to allow Rem, who was awake and unable to move, and my sister, who was exhausted from using too much magic, to escape, and for standing up to the demonic beasts."
"――――"
"There was no chance of winning, your life was in grave danger, and yet you managed to survive... and come back into Rem's arms, still warm."
"――――"
"Waking up, smiling, the words Rem wanted most, at the time she wanted them most, spoken by the person she wanted them to say most."
She recounts the numerous "curses" Subaru had placed on her.
That "curse" was deep and gentle, binding her heart in chains called trust, and still binding her like this.
"Time has been stopped for Rem this whole time. Ever since that fiery night, when she lost everything except for her sister, time has been stopped for Rem."
Having spoken of this glimpse into her brutal past, Rem stares intently at Subaru.
There is an unwavering devotion in it,
"Subaru-kun gently melted my stopped time and frozen heart, and gently moved me. In that moment, that morning, how much Rem was saved. Even Subaru-kun cannot understand how happy Rem must have been."
So, Rem put her hand on her chest and continued,
"--Rem believes. No matter how painful and difficult things get, no matter how close you come to losing. Even if everyone in the world no longer believes in you, and even if Subaru himself can no longer believe in himself--Rem believes."
Speaking, Rem takes a step and closes the distance.
Stretching out both hands as far as she could reach, Rem wrapped her arms around Subaru's neck, who was bowed and unable to move. Though the force pulling her towards him wasn't strong, Subaru offered no resistance and was helplessly embraced by her.
With my head resting on Rem's chest, despite the difference in height between us, I heard a voice coming from above,
"Subaru, who saved Rem, is a real hero."
His lips came to my forehead and I felt a warm sensation there.
Heat spread from the touch, and an incomprehensible emotion swelled within Subaru's chest.
The blood began to flow to my limbs that had been unable to move, and I felt as if the noise that had filled my skull had cleared.
"No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't save anyone."
"Rem is here. The Rem that Subaru saved is here now."
"I'm an empty person who hasn't done anything. No one will listen to me."
"Rem is here. Whatever Subaru has to say, I'll listen. I want to hear it."
"No one expects anything from me. No one believes in me. ...I hate myself."
"Rem loves you, Subaru."
The hand that touched her cheek was warm, and her eyes were moist as she gazed upon Subaru from up close.
Her appearance, her way of being, affirmed the sincerity and truth of those words.
"Is it okay...?"
No matter how many times I tried, no matter how many times I tried again, I ruined it all each time.
Everyone died. I couldn't reach them. I let them all die. I didn't think about it enough.
He was empty, powerless, stupid, slow to act, and even his desire to protect someone was unsteady and insignificant.
Is it okay for me to be like this?
"Subaru-kun, it's fine."
"――――"
"I don't want anything but Subaru-kun."
If there is someone who believes in me, even though I can't believe in myself.
Is it okay for Natsuki Subaru to fight?
--Doesn't it mean I have to give up fighting against fate?
"If you feel empty and have nothing, and you can't forgive yourself for being like that - then let's start here, right now."
"what..."
"Just like Subaru-kun made Rem's stopped time move, now I will move the time that Subaru-kun thought was stopped."
He was beginning to regret, feel ashamed, and give up on the past when he had done nothing, the days up until now when he had been unable to accomplish anything, and all the time he had wasted.
Rem smiled at Subaru,
"Let's start from here. From scratch… No, from zero!"
"――――"
"If it's difficult for you to walk alone, Rem will support you. Let's share the burden and support each other as we walk. That's what you said that morning, right?"
Subaru said that they should sit side by side and laugh about the future.
Subaru said that they should lean on each other, support each other, and keep walking like that.
"Show me something cool, Subaru-kun."
Because I kept showing all my uncool side.
After all, it was Subaru himself who had placed an indelible "curse" on her.
Subaru has an obligation to fulfill that responsibility.
"...Rem."
"yes"
She responds quietly to the call.
He lifts his head, looks ahead, and gazes into Rem's eyes, calm and gentle, waiting for Subaru to respond.
That's why Subaru wants to be the Natsuki Subaru she loved.
"--I love Emilia."
"--yes"
In response to Subaru's confession, Rem nodded with a smile as if she understood everything.
That smile, her kindness, Subaru knew it was cruel, but
"I want to see Emilia smile. I want to help her future. Even if she tells me I'm in the way, even if she tells me not to come… I want to be by her side."
Now that he has received Rem's feelings, he reaffirms those unchanging feelings.
However, the way this growing emotion felt was different from how it had been before.
"Using your feelings of love as an excuse to expect everyone to understand everything... that's arrogant."
"..."
Subaru: "You don't have to understand. Right now, I want to help Emilia. A painful and difficult future awaits her, so I want to take her to a future where we can all laugh together."
that's why,
"Can you help me?"
He holds out his hand and asks Rem, who is standing nearby.
Even though he had told her that he couldn't respond to the feelings she had offered up, and even though he knew it was cowardly, and that he was taking advantage of her feelings, he still couldn't give up on the future of the person he cared about, and yet she loved him.
"I can't do anything by myself. I lack everything. I don't have the confidence to walk straight. I'm weak, fragile, and tiny. So, can you help me walk straight?"
"Subaru-kun, you're a terrible person. Would you ask something like that from someone you just dumped?"
"Even I find it hard to ask something like this of someone who rejected my once-in-a-lifetime proposal."
Subaru laughed weakly, and Rem couldn't contain it and let out a small sigh.
They both laughed for a while, then Rem straightened up, gracefully picked up her skirt and bowed,
"I will humbly accept. If it means that Subaru-kun - Rem's hero - can smile as he faces the future."
"Yeah, watch me from your special seat."
She took his outstretched hand, and after they exchanged vows, Subaru pulled her closer.
Rem let out a small "ah" and her petite body settled into Subaru's chest. He was grateful for the presence of that soft, warm girl who loved him.
"--The guy you fell in love with turned into the coolest hero ever!"
My chest feels hot.
Rem, who was embracing Subaru, pressed her face into his chest, hiding her expression.
Her breathing is hot. Her forehead and cheeks are hot as she rubs against me. But surely the tears flowing from her eyes are the hottest thing of all.
--Even now, Subaru can't bring himself to like himself. He still hates himself.
But there is a girl who says she loves Subaru.
Even though he's like that, there's a girl he wants to be loved.
--Emilia is watching you. Rem is watching you. So don't look down.
"――――"
It may be borrowed courage, but I believe that the feelings I hold in my heart are real.
Let's start from scratch here.
The story of Natsuki Subaru.
-Starting life in another world from zero.