Chapter 17: "Mom Talk and Body Swaps"
(Or: How I Accidentally Became Someone's Son)
Okay, so I've fought demon beasts, trained with pervy sages, and led a war or two. But none of that prepared me for…
Mothers.
I opened the door to Issei's house (still not used to calling it "home") and was immediately greeted by the warm, cozy smell of dinner cooking and the sound of a laugh track coming from the TV.
There she was—Miki Hyoudou—sitting cross-legged on the couch, eyes glued to some overly dramatic soap opera. The kind where people cry in slow motion while clutching roses and dramatically shouting, "NANI?!?"
She looked so… peaceful. The kind of peaceful you don't see in my world, where peace usually ends with a kunai to the ribs.
"Welcome home, sweetie!" she called out cheerfully, not even turning around.
Yeah. That hit me right in the heart.
For a moment, I just stood there like a statue with a bag full of emotional baggage. It had been easy to ignore before—pretend everything was just temporary. But now that I knew the truth, that Issei was safe in my world and that we could switch back if we tried…
Well, the guilt hit me like a Rasengan to the chest.
This woman—she wasn't just any mom. She was his mom. And she loved him. Really, truly loved him. Not the strict, yell-when-you-fail kind of love I used to think moms had. No, hers was softer. Protective. She'd been through stuff. Two miscarriages, I'd overheard once by accident. Issei was her miracle.
And here I was, pretending to be him.
"Hey… Miki-san?" I said awkwardly, walking into the living room.
She glanced over and smiled. "Hmm? You only call me that when you're feeling polite—or when you've broken something."
I smiled sheepishly. "No, nothing's broken… but I do need to tell you something. And it's going to sound weird."
She paused the show. Okay, progress.
I took a deep breath. "I'm not Issei."
Silence.
Then laughter. "Pfft! Okay, what is this? Is it one of those prank videos? Are you filming me right now?" She looked around like a hidden camera crew might pop out from behind the curtains.
"No," I said firmly. "I mean it. I'm… not him. My name is Naruto Uzumaki. The real Issei and I swapped bodies somehow. He's in my world right now—my ninja world—and I'm here."
Another silence. This one longer. More cautious.
Her eyes narrowed, searching my face, and for the first time since I got here… she really looked. Like, stared into my soul kind of looked.
"...This is a joke, right?"
I didn't laugh. I didn't even blink.
"Miki," I said softly. "Your son is okay. He's safe. He's with good people. I would never let anything happen to him. But I… I couldn't keep lying to you. You love him too much. And you deserve to know."
I half-expected her to scream. Or cry. Or run to grab a broom and chase me out.
But Miki Hyoudou… she didn't do any of that.
She just leaned back against the couch, exhaled shakily, and asked:
"Is he in danger?"
I blinked. "What?"
She looked at me, this quiet strength in her eyes now. "My son. Issei. Is he in danger right now?"
I shook my head. "No. He's with people like me. He's learning, growing. And probably eating way better food than I am."
She actually smiled a little. "Then… I guess I can accept it. You're not joking. Are you?"
"No."
She nodded slowly, her hands trembling just a little in her lap. "Then I'm glad you told me. As long as my boy is okay… I can deal with strange."
My mouth fell open. This woman was too calm.
"I—are you sure? Like, I just told you aliens swapped your son with a ninja from another dimension!"
She gave me a long look. "Sweetheart. I raised Issei. You think I haven't already considered that something weird like this would happen eventually?"
I… had no response to that.
But inside, a knot in my chest finally loosened.
She smiled again, this time more genuinely. "So… Naruto, huh? Welcome to the family. Just don't eat all the snacks and we'll be fine."
"…Yes, ma'am."
And just like that, I gained a mom.
Sort of.
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You ever faced a raging tailed beast?
You ever been punched through a mountain?
You ever had to explain to a determined mom that you're a dimension-swapped ninja who can throw a Rasengan the size of a house, and that high school might not be your thing?
Yeah. That was nothing compared to what came next.
After I told Miki the truth—and somehow lived to tell about it—I thought maybe she'd give me a day off or let me do my ninja thing in peace.
Spoiler: she did not.
She narrowed her eyes, crossed her arms, and shifted from warm and understanding to full "Mom Mode." You know the look. The one that says "I've forgiven you, but now it's time for life planning."
"So…" she said slowly, "what are you planning to do now that you're in Issei's body?"
I blinked. "Uh… fight bad guys? Train hard? Build an army of loyal allies and eventually take over this whole area's underground fight scene?"
She gave me the look. You know the one. The kind that makes even shadow clones want to disappear.
"Try again."
"…Eat more ramen?"
"Try. Again."
I sighed and rubbed the back of my head. "Look, I get it. You're worried. But I'm a ninja. School's… not really my thing."
Her eyes sharpened. "You're in Issei's body now. And Issei is a student at Kuoh Academy. Do you know how much we paid to get him in there?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. A lot?"
"A lot," she emphasized, raising a finger like she was ready to use it as a jutsu. "And I'll be honest with you, Naruto—Issei isn't a genius. We worked hard to support him. So even if you're some hotshot warrior in another world, while you're here, you're going to finish his schooling. And get good grades. And eventually find a sweet girl and get married."
I stared. "...Married?"
She nodded with scary determination. "Yes. I want grandchildren. Issei's not getting any younger."
"I'm sixteen!"
"That's not an excuse," she replied, dead serious. "My friends already have grandchildren. Do you know how embarrassing that is for me at our coffee group?"
I couldn't believe it. I'd fought gods. Actual gods. And yet I felt more helpless now than ever before.
"Miki-san, don't you think that's a bit much? I'm already juggling a body swap, a secret identity, and a turf war. Can't we start with just… passing math?"
She looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "So you admit you're behind in math."
"...Darn it."
She smiled smugly. "Good. Then it's settled. You'll attend school like a normal boy, no skipping. I don't care if you're fighting gang leaders at night or summoning chakra or whatever—during the day, you are a student. And someday, you will be a husband."
I opened my mouth to protest again, but something stopped me.
She was smiling. And despite the pressure and expectations, it was a smile full of hope and warmth.
It was the kind of smile I never had growing up.
She wasn't trying to trap me—she just wanted her son, even if I wasn't exactly him, to have a chance at a good life.
So I smiled back, scratched my cheek, and said, "Alright… I'll go to school. I'll study. I'll even try not to blow anything up."
She gave a happy little nod. "Good boy."
"But the marriage part… that's gonna take some time."
"I've already made a list of potential candidates," she replied cheerfully, pulling out a pink notebook.
I choked. "YOU WHAT?!"
"Don't worry, I only included girls with good grades and stable family backgrounds."
"Oh no."
I had fought ninja, battled mad yakuza, and even survived Kakashi-sensei's training.
But this?
This was the real boss battle.
And it was only just beginning.
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So, remember how I survived telling Miki that I'm not her real son?
Yeah, that was the easy part.
Because right after that heartwarming moment where she forgave me, blessed me, and demanded grandchildren, she hit me with:
"And what is this about gangs that you've been mentioning?"
Oops.
Cue the record scratch in my head.
Cue the mental image of my future flashing before my eyes.
I did what any honorable shinobi would do when caught red-handed.
I laughed awkwardly and said, "Did I say gangs? Haha! I meant, um, game—like dodgeball gangs! You know, teens who… organize… group sports."
Her eyes narrowed with the intensity of a Byakugan-wielding tiger mom.
"Don't play with me, Naruto. I'm not dumb. What kind of gangs?"
I sighed. Time to ninja up and tell the truth.
"Well… There are these student gangs in the area. Teen fighters, turf wars, the usual delinquent stuff. They're not exactly organized crime, but still kinda scary. And, uh… I decided to take over them."
"...You what?"
I held up my hands like a guy explaining why there's a frog in the rice cooker. "It's not what it sounds like! I'm not doing it for power. Or money. Or anything illegal! Honest!"
She stared at me. "Then why?"
"Training!" I said quickly. "I'm using it as live field training. I mean, I'm stuck here, right? No missions, no chakra network, no giant talking toads. So I figured if I'm gonna improve and be ready for real threats, I might as well practice by organizing the chaos. You know… unite them under one banner, stop them from doing dumb stuff, get stronger in the process."
Miki looked like she was deciding whether to call the police, a therapist, or both.
"You're telling me… you're becoming a gang boss... for training?"
"Yes."
"To fight… what? Neighborhood bullies?"
"I don't know!" I blurted out. "But there are things in your world. Dark things. Dangerous things."
She crossed her arms. "Like what?"
I paused. Took a breath. "I met a magical girl on my first day."
That got her attention.
"Magical… girl?"
I nodded. "Pink dress, sparkly wand, the whole thing. She saved a cat. Then punched a guy into a wall. I think she was human. But I felt it—chakra, or mana, or something. There's definitely magic in this world. Hidden. So if there's one magical girl, there could be demons. Spirits. Maybe even otherworldly threats."
She blinked. "So your logic is: since there might be magical beings… your solution is to conquer teenage street gangs?"
I smiled innocently. "Efficient, right?"
She stared at me for a long moment, then sighed and sat back on the couch like I'd just told her I was starting a career as a circus juggler. "Why couldn't you just be obsessed with video games like a normal boy…"
"Video games don't make you faster or stronger," I replied, sitting on the armrest beside her. "But building a network of fighters, gaining battle experience, earning loyalty—that helps. I'm not doing this for fun, Miki-san. I promise."
She glanced at me, then away, then sighed again. "You're still going to school."
"I figured."
"And if you get arrested, I'm not bailing you out."
"Fair."
"Also… wear a helmet."
"...Why?"
"Because if you get hit in the head again and lose any more brain cells, I'll have to homeschool you."
"Noted."
She looked up at me, her eyes softening just a little. "Just… be careful, alright? I already lost two kids before Issei. I'm not going to lose a third, even if he's… borrowing a new personality."
I swallowed. That hit harder than any kunai. I didn't have a real mom growing up, not really. But in that moment, I understood why people said mothers were the strongest beings in any world.
"I'll be careful," I said softly. "Promise."
She nodded. "Good. Now go wash up. Lunch's in twenty."
"Yes, ma'am."
And just like that, Naruto Uzumaki—future Hokage, shadow ruler of local teenage gangs, and magical-girl-spotter—went off to eat curry and try not to get grounded by the fiercest woman he'd ever met.