"Congratulations, Player! You have died!"
There are many things Freya expected to hear after being hit by a rogue delivery drone carrying twenty packs of adult diapers. That wasn't one of them.
The screen floating in front of her face blinked cheerfully in blue and gold, as if the words "you have died" were cause for celebration. Behind the message, fireworks erupted in eight-bit pixel art. If it had been a video game, it would be a cute Easter egg. In reality—or whatever this was—it felt deeply inappropriate.
Freya stared at the screen, blinking slowly. Her first coherent thought: *Huh. I really should've gone with salad instead of that expired gas station hotdog.*
A cheery voice echoed around the void. "Welcome, Freya Lin, age 27, occupation: professional couch potato slash customer service punching bag. You have successfully completed your first life."
"Excuse me? First life? I wasn't even done paying off my student loans yet!"
"Please remain calm as we calculate your soul value."
Another screen popped up, this one with a bar rapidly filling from left to right. It was labeled **Soul Assessment: Processing...** with a very obnoxious loading circle spinning like it had all the time in the world. Freya crossed her arms.
"I demand a refund. Or at least a respawn. Can I get a do-over? I died because of *diapers*. That can't be how my story ends."
The loading bar dinged.
**Soul Assessment Complete!**
> Name: Freya Lin
> Emotional Damage: 89%
> Chaotic Energy: 74%
> Snack Consumption: 9001%
> Heroic Potential: 3% (rounded up)
> Respawn Eligibility: Approved (conditionally)
"Congratulations, Freya! You qualify for Isekai Relocation, Version 3.14: Goddess Glitch Edition!"
"Goddess *what*?"
The blue screen morphed into a shimmering doorway. The voice continued, as if she hadn't spoken. "You will be reincarnated into the world of *Mythtaria Online*, a fully immersive game-based fantasy world, currently in beta testing. You have been selected as a participant in our exclusive Early Afterlife Access Program!"
Freya narrowed her eyes. "This is a prank, right? Am I on some weird reality show for dead people?"
"You will retain partial memories, receive a randomized starter class, and awaken in a beginner-friendly zone. Please note: Due to a minor bug in the Divine RNG, your class assignment may be... experimental."
Before she could protest, the floor under her disappeared. She let out a very undignified scream as she fell, pajamas flapping, into a swirling vortex of sparkles, cat memes, and loading screens.
---
Freya woke up face-first in grass.
"Ow," she muttered, spitting out a blade of minty-scented greenery. "Why does the dirt taste like chewing gum?"
She sat up, coughing. Her pajamas had been replaced by an outfit that screamed, "I have no idea what I'm doing but please don't stab me." It was a puffy white tunic, brown trousers, and a pointy hat that kept drooping over her left eye like a depressed pastry.
"Okay. Not dead. Not naked. Progress."
A tiny chime rang in her ear. A semi-transparent screen popped up.
> **Welcome, Player Freya!**
> You are now Level 1: \[Class: ???]
> Title: "Beta Bug"
> Perks: None
> Friends: 0
> Enemies: You don't want to know
> Tutorial: \[Y/N]?
Freya stared. "My class is literally question marks. My title is *Beta Bug*? This is discrimination."
A tiny pixie, glowing like someone dumped glitter into a blender, poofed into existence next to her.
"Hiya! I'm your Starter Guide Fairy, Glibby! And *wow*, you are the most messed-up class I've ever seen assigned. Like, seriously, someone in Upper Management is definitely getting fired."
"Great," Freya said flatly. "Does that mean I get to go back to Earth while they fix it?"
Glibby snorted. "Nope! It means you get a bonus stat point in Improvisation and a high chance of causing chaos wherever you go. Congrats!"
The tutorial screen reappeared.
> Would you like to begin the tutorial?
> \[ ] Yes
> \[ ] No
> \[X] Pretend you know what you're doing
Glibby tapped her chin. "It auto-selected the third option. Huh. That one was supposed to be a joke."
Freya groaned. "Of course it did. So, what now?"
"Now you survive!" Glibby said, clapping. "Or die hilariously again. Either way, I get paid in experience crystals. Let's go!"
---
They walked through a very scenic forest that looked like someone had downloaded every fantasy wallpaper and merged them. Birds chirped melodically. Butterflies sparkled. The trees swayed to some invisible rhythm, like they were doing interpretive dance.
Freya tripped over a root.
"The forest is *taunting* me," she hissed.
Glibby floated upside down. "So, want to check your status screen? Might help you figure out what the heck your class actually *does*."
Freya sighed and swiped at the air. A screen popped up like a very enthusiastic pop-up ad.
> **Status: Freya Lin**
> Class: Glitch Witch (Unstable)
> Level: 1
> HP: 30/30
> MP: 100/100
> Strength: 4
> Intelligence: 14
> Luck: -2
> Passive Skill: "Unpredictable Magic" (Does... something?)
"What the heck is a Glitch Witch?"
Glibby whistled. "Oooh. That's rare. And probably illegal."
"Illegal?!"
"I mean, it says 'Unstable' right there. That's like labeling a potion with 'may explode if you look at it funny.' You might have fun magic powers, or you might summon a giant rubber duck that attacks villagers."
Freya's eye twitched. "How is this game not canceled?"
"It's still in beta. Legal hasn't noticed yet."
They reached a clearing with a friendly-looking signpost that said *Tutorial Village: This Way!* next to a very angry-looking goose with red eyes.
Glibby gasped. "Careful. That goose is a miniboss."
"You mean *that* goose? The one that's two feet tall and currently eating a caterpillar?"
"Yes. Don't provoke it."
Naturally, at that exact moment, Freya sneezed.
The goose slowly turned its head toward her. A boss health bar appeared across the sky.
> **\[HONKATRON THE UNMERCIFUL - Level 5]**
"Oh, come *on*!"
The goose charged, wings flapping. Freya screamed and threw up her hands.
A burst of sparkly static shot from her palms and hit the goose square in the beak. It froze mid-honk. Then exploded into confetti.
Silence.
Glibby gawked. "You just cast... something. I have *no idea* what it was. But hey! You won!"
A message appeared.
> You have defeated Honkatron the Unmerciful!
> Loot: 1x Goose Feather of Minor Intimidation
> Level Up! You are now Level 2!
Freya picked up the feather. It vibrated menacingly.
"I don't know what's happening," she said, "but I feel like I just punched fate in the face."
Glibby beamed. "That's the spirit! Welcome to Mythtaria Online, Beta Bug. Let's break the system together!"
Freya sighed. "Fine. But first, I need pants with more pockets. And maybe a sword."
Glibby giggled. "One thing at a time."
And with that, Freya Lin—former couch potato, current magical anomaly—took her first steps into a brave, glitchy, probably bug-ridden new world.
She just hoped it came with snacks.