Welcome to the White House, where the only thing more divided than Congress is Monica Lewinsky's thighs—talk about bipartisan separation!
What do Monica Lewinsky and a vending machine have in common? They both say: "Insert Bill here."
Monica started on her knees—and look where that got her. Sometimes you gotta stand up to change the game!
Speaking of Bill Clinton, he was the only president to get "in the black"—sounds great, right? Except here's the twist: the red is the black, the black is the red, and it all depends if your starting point matches the rest! So basically, he's the only one who didn't do his job… ironically.
The White House: where politics, scandals, and punchlines come together like a late-night comedy special nobody asked for!
Everyone says Elon Musk is a genius—rockets, cars, social media—but when it comes to privacy rights, he thinks he owns everyone's privates. Maybe that's why he bought Twitter—he thought "X" marked the spot!
He can silence people's right to speak, but when it comes to actually getting things to work, well—let's just say his rockets aren't the only things having trouble launching!
And let's be honest: when your ex-wife's an actress with zero social media presence, it's probably because Elon's making sure she can't be heard—not just seen.
Elon's idea of privacy is like a Tesla autopilot—promises a lot, but you're never quite sure where you'll end up.
It's ironic Elon Musk and Trump are such buddies—Trump acts like he's got a little boy crush on Elon just because he plays with rockets. But the only thing benefiting from their friendship is good TV—two egos, one reality show, and a whole lot of airtime.
Trump's no Orphan Annie, but with those Daddy Issues, he's got more in common with Daddy Warbucks than he thinks. Maybe if Warbucks and Trump stopped stroking their egos, checked their brain cells, and quit whispering to their billionaire buddies, they'd finally realize the CIA's got their ear—and maybe, just maybe, get over their crap and check the video feed before another pie hits their face.
Elon and Trump: proof you can reach for the stars, miss the point, and still end up on primetime!
Meanwhile, Congress is busy playing "Who Can Filibuster the Longest" while the country watches like it's the world's slowest reality show. Spoiler alert: nobody wins, but the popcorn sales skyrocket.
And let's not forget the White House press briefings—part political theater, part improv comedy, all confusion. It's like watching a soap opera where the plot twists are written by a committee that forgot the script.
If scandals were Olympic sports, the White House would have more gold than Michael Phelps. Monica's chapter was just the opening act; now it's a full-blown series with guest stars, plot holes, and cliffhangers nobody asked for.
So buckle up, folks. In the land of politics, privacy invasions, and rocket launches that sometimes explode, the only thing predictable is the unpredictability. And hey, at least it keeps late-night comedians employed!