Hm? Where am I?
The world around me is empty. Just never ending white.
"Hello?"
No answer.
I try to remember what happened before I got here.
I think I was gaming. Yeah. I was playing one of those new VRMMOs. Prince of Power Online? Deadman Online? Cultivator Wannabe Online? I forget which one. There's a lot of bad games, but I usually just solo'd through with some sort of exploits.
But what happened while I was gaming? I can remember finishing a time trial or a boss fight. Can't remember which. But outside the arena I think I remember seeing some other players. There was this one Ninja Class girl. Her character model had the biggest…!
Wait. That's my last clear memory. After that, it's all hazy. I black out. Then… people standing over me? They struggle to pick up my fat ass. Then I remember the ambulance siren. Beeping from a heartbeat monitor. Then… nothing?
Fuck! Am I dead?
"It seems so, young man."
I hear an old man's voice behind me. When I spin around, I see him. An elderly man in fishing waiters, a flannel shirt, and a ball cap is sitting on a log. He's holding a fishing rod in hand and is currently tying a knot in the eye of a hook.
"You are indeed dead."
"Uh huh… and if I'm dead, then are you… God?"
"I'm a god, yes. Just one of many."
"So I'm dead… and you're a god… Is this the afterlife?"
"Not exactly. I was just fishing in this part of the Astral Plane. It's quiet here. At least it was til I reeled in your noisy soul."
"Wait, you were fishing?"
"I'm the God of Fishing. It's what I do."
"And you caught my soul?"
"Yup. And I'm about to toss you back."
"Wait! Toss me back? But…"
I just died and woke up here. Now this god is going to get rid of me. Don't I get another shot?
"Hey, Mr. Fishing God. Do I get another life?"
"That's something that's possible, yes. Sometimes gods grant powers to souls and send them into a new life."
"Can't I have that?"
"I don't have a reason to grant you any power, young man. If I throw you back into the Astral Sea, then maybe another god will do that for you."
"What if told you… that I completed every achievement for 'The Demon Lord Goes Fishing: The VRMMO'."
"You mean the fishing game so janky and poorly developed that it was pulled from live service in only one month?"
"Exactly! I really no-lifed that one, but I found an exploit to instantly reel in any fish and used that trick to speedrun the whole game."
"Hmm… Perhaps you do have potential. Very well."
"Really? You'll give me another life!?"
"Yes. And an extra power that will aid you in your new life."
"Oooh! Is this one of those System things? Some sort of otherworldly controller to make me super strong?"
"Nope."
"Eh?"
I stare at the Fishing God blankly.
"So it's not a system then?"
"It is. It just isn't going to be like what the others can give you. Here, just take it. It's not like it'll hurt."
The Fishing God places his hand out, palm facing up. An orb of light lifts up from his palm and then rockets towards me and hits my chest.
"Huh? So it just makes me luckier? How does that help me get stronger?"
"It doesn't. I just use this system for fishing! Hahaha!"
The Fishing God belts out a hearty laugh and I sigh, hanging my head in defeat.
"So, young man, are you ready to depart?"
"I uh… yeah. Sure. I'll take my extra luck and get out of here."
"First, we need to put you through 'New-Characterizer'! It's a fancy little tool us gods use to make you a new body before shipping you out to a new life."
"New-Chara…. Why not just call it a Character Creator like everyone else does?"
"Oooh that's a good name. I'll bring it up next time we all have a meeting! Now, just look into the water I'm fishing in. Then it'll start."
"Water…?"
I walk closer to the Fishing God and stare at the place where he casts his line and hook. Everything here is just a flat surface of pure white, but his hook and line leave ripples where they land, as if landing in water.
As I focus on that point for just about two seconds, I feel myself lose consciousness. Or maybe that's not it. The world is now only darkness and my body has disappeared from my own sight
"Trippy…"
A glowing blue panel flashes in front of me.
That many versions and they ended up with that shit name? Geez…
I watch as another screen appears before me showing off a body with no features at all. It's very Ken-like.
So how do I make this thing work? I've always wanted spiky blue hair like those anime and game characters I love.
Right before my eyes, the blank body sprouts spiky blue hair. Thankfully it didn't try to take on a Saiyan style. More like those generic anime protags. That's fine.
Gotta have matching eyebrows, maybe some matching facial hair… Yeah, just a small goatee.
Like before, the blank body is now growing the features I mention.
It's actually pretty neat how this works. But let's keep going. I don't want to be a jolly and rotund fellow anymore. Lets trade in the beer belly for some muscles! Athletic build, but not like a body-builder. Like a track runner, maybe.
I watch the body sculpt out some very defined musculature on the body. Lean muscles. No excessive bulging anywhere.
Hmm… yes. That will do.
Next for height…. Let's just go with 6 feet tall, yeah?
Now for the most important part…. PP!!
I've though long and hard about this.
Gone to great lengths to decide on the optimal size!
Okay, no more PP puns.
I've decided long ago that if I ever get to choose my PP size, then it should be…. Based on a dice roll!
But that's always been more of a joke, anyway. There's no way I'd risk my happiness like that.
Whoa what!? No! Stop!
There's a ten-sided die bouncing around on the screen now. Part of me wants this to end right now! Part of me wants to see that die perfect hit the corner of the screen.
The die stops moving.
And on the face of it…
3!
Fuck! I lost PP!
A chime with a cute voice saying "Lucky!" echoes in my head.
So I watch the die as it tips over and rolls two more times.
7!
I thrust currently invisible arms up above my head and cheer.
HELL YES! This is the best system! Luck is the best!
I take a good look at the final result of my body edits. There's a small box in the corner asking me to input age.
I wouldn't mind being a bit younger, but I'm going to skip all that awkwardness of growing up again.
Lets start our new life at… 22!
I punch in the numbers and hit confirm. The screen disappears and a new one appears.
Hm? Come again? Outfit? Gear? Were there options like that?
Hold up! Stop! I want to choose clothes and gear!
In that moment, my new body loads in and I can see myself in all my naked glory. Right before I'm whisked away into a portal.