Zhang Wei had three problems.
First: he had USD 3.50 left in his bank account.
Second: his landlord threatened to change the lock—again—if he didn't pay rent by tomorrow.
Third: his college crush, Lily, just sent him a wedding invitation. Her fiancé was a crypto millionaire who looked like a gym trainer and owned a six-pack and a Tesla.
Zhang Wei, on the other hand, owned a secondhand rice cooker, two expired condoms, and a part-time job that paid in exposure.
He stared at his phone. It was cracked. Just like his dreams.
[Lily: I'm getting married next week. Hope you're doing well 😊]
"Yeah, I'm doing amazing," he muttered. "Just booked my honeymoon to Depression Island."
He looked around his room: moldy walls, a desk with one broken leg, and a pile of laundry that had evolved into a new lifeform. On the desk sat his one loyal friend—the rice cooker. Half-broken, slightly scorched, but it made noodles and hadn't judged him. Yet.
He dropped a packet of Maggi into the pot and stirred slowly.
As the noodles bubbled, so did his thoughts.
"I should've bought Bitcoin in 2012," he mumbled.
His best friend, Jason, once told him about it.
"Bro, just USD 100! It's digital gold!"
And Zhang Wei had said the same thing he always said: "Later lah."
Now it was 2024. Jason was in Dubai. Zhang Wei was eating MSG soup for dinner… again.
The noodles boiled over. Zhang Wei sighed and grabbed the cooker. Unfortunately, his fingers touched a frayed wire.
ZZZAAAPPP!!
The shock hit him like an angry Pikachu.
He flew backward, slammed into the chair, knocked over his dying laptop, and everything went black.
When he opened his eyes, he expected heaven. Or a hospital. Or maybe just his landlord yelling again.
Instead, he saw… a ceiling fan.
Not his ceiling fan.
A clean white one. Actually working.
He sat up with a grunt.
The room was unfamiliar. Tidy. Small. But weirdly… nostalgic.
There was a calendar on the wall:January 2009.
A Nokia phone beside the bed. A fat CRT monitor on a wooden desk. No Wi-Fi icon anywhere.
"What the—" He rushed to the window.
Outside, kids were playing with toy guns. A newspaper vendor cycled past. A banner on a street pole said "Happy New Year 2009."
Zhang Wei blinked.
"No way. No freaking way."
He turned on the PC. Windows XP. He opened Internet Explorer (painfully slow). Googled the news.
"Bitcoin launches first ever mining software."
His jaw dropped.
His stomach growled. But he didn't care.
He stumbled to the mirror. Same face. Maybe slightly younger. Less stress, less eye bags, more hair.
He checked the phone. Nokia 3310. Snake game installed.
He checked his pants. No wallet. But a weird feeling in his gut.
Then he burst out laughing.
"HOLY SH*T."
He grabbed the mouse and typed faster than he ever had in his life:
"How to buy Bitcoin 2009."
No real platforms yet. Just a few online forums, weird instructions, and a guy named Satoshi Nakamoto.
Zhang Wei sat back, stunned.
"I died a broke loser… and came back as an early investor."
But he wasn't rich yet. He had no Bitcoin wallet. No cash. No idea how to convince anyone he wasn't insane.
He looked at himself in the mirror and whispered:
"This time, I'm not gonna screw it up. I'm gonna buy Bitcoin. I'm gonna get rich. And when Lily sees me again…"
He smirked.
"She's gonna wish she married me."