The fluorescent lights above flickered faintly, giving the cramped bathroom stall an almost sinister vibe. But for the young man hunched over his phone inside, it was nothing short of sacred ground.
He had skipped class entirely for this.
An hour of advanced calculus? Please. Priorities.
Sitting atop the porcelain throne, black-haired and lean, he stared at the screen with wide, excited eyes. His slightly messy hair framed his sharp features, and a faint grin tugged at his lips. A true degenerate moment.
His right leg bounced impatiently as the download bar inched closer and closer toward completion.
'Come on… come on…'
His heart was racing.
For any ordinary person, this would seem absurd. But for someone who consumed anime, manga, manhwa, and too many gacha games on a daily basis, this was a moment of life and death.
5%... 23%... 71%... 100%.
Installing...
He bit his lip in anticipation. His fingers hovered over the screen.
And then—
"LET'S GOOOO! 5, 4, 3, 2, 1— YESSSS!!!"
His voice echoed through the empty bathroom. The shout was pure triumph — joy unfiltered, raw and loud.
BANG!
A loud thump hit the thin divider between stalls, shaking it.
"Oi, man— shut the fuck up! I can't concentrate in here!" came a gruff, irritated voice from the next stall.
Zev blinked.
'Ah. Right. Public bathroom.'
He coughed awkwardly.
"Sorry! My bad!" he called out quickly.
'Sheesh, someone's having a rough morning,' he thought, stifling a grin.
Still… the gacha banners awaited.
He rubbed his hands together gleefully, eyes gleaming.
'Time to whale a little... hehehehehehe… first pull, legendary unit incoming, I can feel it.'
The countdown to glory had only just begun.
Without wasting another second, Zev swiped through the game's opening menus.
Bright, colorful banners flashed across the screen, practically screaming at him:
LIMITED TIME ONLY!
ULTRA RARE 0.5% DROP RATE!
NEW LEGENDARY CHARACTER: AZURA, LIGHTNING DRAGON EMPRESS!
He grinned wider.
'Perfect. My type of bait.'
Fingers trembling with excitement, he navigated straight to the summoning page. The button to purchase premium gems glowed temptingly.
"Alright, let's do this."
He selected the biggest pack available without hesitation.
$99.99 — the true mark of a degenerate.
But who cared? This was fate.
The payment screen popped up.
He leaned forward, typing in the numbers from memory.
5432 8916 0012 7784
Expiration date… done.
Cardholder name… fingers tapped the keyboard automatically.
Zev.
It was the first time his name had appeared anywhere on screen.
Simple and clean. His identity revealed only to the cold, merciless servers of a gacha company.
He smirked.
'This is it. Legendary unit, first pull, here I come.'
He pressed Pay.
A small loading circle spun.
Spun…
Spun…
And then—
ERROR. INSUFFICIENT FUNDS.
"WHAT?!" Zev shouted instinctively, voice echoing through the bathroom again.
BANG!!
A much louder thump slammed the divider this time. The man next door sounded on the verge of a mental breakdown.
"For fuck's sake! Can you SHUT UP?! I'm trying to take a shit in peace!" the voice growled.
Zev blinked again, cheeks flushing red.
'Oh crap…'
And as if to emphasize the man's misery, a loud, unmistakable PPPFFFFTTT echoed from the neighboring stall.
A long, tortured fart, followed by an exhausted sigh.
Zev winced.
'Yeah… I think it's time to leave before I die of toxic fumes.'
He quickly stuffed his phone into his pocket and unlocked the stall door.
Mission failed. Wallet empty. Pride shattered. Air quality: dangerous.
Fresh air never tasted so good.
Zev stepped out of the bathroom, taking a deep breath as if he'd just escaped a the aftermath of a nuclear fart.
'Dear god… that man was fighting for his life in there.'
He shook his head.
But as soon as the humor faded, frustration crept back in.
'No funds… why the hell don't I have any funds?!'
He fished out his phone again, flicking to his banking app.
Balance: $0.76.
"Ugh." He groaned out loud.
The reason was painfully obvious.
He still hadn't received his paycheck from his part-time job this month.
'It's the 23rd already! Are they trying to screw me over or what?'
Grinding his teeth, he turned on his heel and started walking briskly across the university campus.
Classes were in full swing now—students moving between buildings, some laughing in groups, others glued to their phones. Zev barely noticed.
'No money, no pulls. No pulls, no happiness. No happiness, no life. Simple math.'
His footsteps quickened.
He worked part-time at a small café near the west wing of the campus. The manager was usually laid-back, but this was getting ridiculous.
'You can't mess with a man's gacha budget. That's sacred.'
Eyes blazing with determination, he muttered to himself:
"Time to collect what's mine."
Zev stalked across campus like a man on a mission.
'First the card, now my paycheck. What's next?'
He was already imagining the awkward conversation with his manager.
But then—
A cluster of voices caught his ear.
High-pitched, excited.
Female.
Curious, he glanced toward the source.
A group of girls had gathered beneath one of the large oak trees near the central courtyard. At least ten of them, phones out, pointing upwards.
He slowed down.
'What's this?'
Then he heard it clearly:
"Look! There's a cat!"
"Poor thing, it's stuck!"
"Someone help it!"
His eyes followed their fingers.
Sure enough—on a thick branch about four meters up, an orange tabby cat lay sprawled out lazily, completely unbothered.
Zev's lips curled into a sly grin.
'Opportunity spotted.'
Without a second thought, he tossed his backpack onto the grass and approached the tree.
A few girls noticed him.
"Is he going to climb?"
"Really?"
"Be careful!"
He placed his hands on the trunk, testing it.
Solid.
'Of course I'm climbing. I'm not missing a chance to be the hero here.'
He flexed his fingers dramatically and began ascending.
The bark scraped lightly against his palms as he moved upward with surprising agility.
Cheers followed him.
"You can do it!"
"Wow, look at him go!"
"So fast!"
Zev smirked.
'That's right, girls. Keep the praise coming.'
Higher and higher he climbed, until the branch with the cat was within reach.
He perched carefully, balancing on a thicker branch just beside it.
There lay the cat, eyes half-closed, completely indifferent to the commotion below.
"Almost there!" one girl called.
"You're amazing!" another shouted.
Zev opened his arms theatrically.
"Pspspspsps… come here, little one."
He whispered sweetly, as if performing for the audience.
The cat remained motionless.
Typical.
Zev leaned closer, inching along the branch.
'Okay… time to seal the deal and become today's hero.'
He reached out gently toward the tabby.
Zev inched closer, one careful step at a time.
The branch swayed slightly beneath his weight.
The orange tabby lifted its head lazily and blinked at him.
'Good, it's paying attention. Just a little closer.'
His fingers were mere centimeters from its fur now.
Below, the crowd of girls watched with bated breath.
"You've got this!"
"Almost there!"
"Save the kitty!"
Zev grinned inwardly.
'Heh. That's right. Praise me. Witness the greatness unfolding before you.'
Stretching out both arms, he spoke in the softest voice he could muster:
"Pspspsps… come on, little guy. Let's get you down."
The cat yawned.
Then, with no warning—it sprang forward.
Straight at his face.
"Wha—?!"
SCRATCH! CLAW! SWIPE!
Sharp claws raked across his cheeks and nose.
"AHHH—!!" Zev yelped, flailing instinctively.
The cat used his head as a springboard, leaping gracefully to another branch and then down to the ground—completely unharmed.
Zev, on the other hand, had lost all sense of balance.
The branch beneath him groaned.
"Nononononononono—!!"
SNAP.
His vision spun wildly.
Wind rushed past his ears.
Down below, the girls gasped in horror.
"HE'S FALLING!"
"OH MY GOD!"
"SOMEONE CATCH HIM!"
Zev's thoughts scrambled.
'Oh crap, this is bad, really bad—'
Impact.
A dull, heavy thud against the grass.
Darkness creeped in around the edges of his vision.
Shapes moved above him—blurry figures, faces.
Girls surrounded him, voices frantic.
"Is he okay?!"
"Someone call an ambulance!"
"Hang in there!!"
His body refused to respond.
His head lolled slightly to one side.
He could barely move his mouth.
But with the last shred of consciousness, a smirk curled on his battered lips.
Voice barely a whisper, he muttered:
"Heh… finally… women… are throwing themselves at me…"
Darkness swallowed him whole.