Chapter Twenty-Two
Lucianna's POV
Darkness has consumed the light and I kept on pacing back and forth inside my room.
I can just lock myself here and try not to come out but well, I remembered that Jacob somehow managed to come inside the room so that was useless to do anymore!
'If you only complete the mating with--'
'Oh, shut up! I won't do that!' I cut my wolf from suggesting the same thing again.
She whined but went silent.
I sighed.
Okay. Calm down, Lucianna or you won't think of a better plan to do this. Breathe, okay?
I tried making my mind work and after a while, I decided to be sure of the information I have by now.
'Harleyyy?' I called on to the portal with Jacob's Gamma.
'Yes, lamb?' he quickly responded.
I pouted. Why was he calling me lamb? This was the second time he called me that but I don't have time to ask him why. My time was running.
'Uh, where are you?'
'Why are you asking? Don't tell me-'
I snorted.
'I'm just asking 'cause I don't want to be here alone with your mighty alpha!' I lied but it seems to work.
'Chill. I'm not on duty and sorry but you ARE alone with your mate.'
I can hear the Gamma's laugh by his words! Damn!
Okay! Fight with that dog some other time, at least now I know that Jacob was the only one I had to escape tonight.
If he wanted to sleep with me, I mean, for me to sleep with him--Fuck! That's the same! Damn it!
Maybe I should trick him?
And act as if I like him? Ew!
But fuck, what's the other way that I can do just so he won't doubt I have a plan for tonight?
I'll just talk with Dylan by midnight and I will be back so I can risk it, right? I can try, and I'm sure I can do this!
Sighing, I decided to went out of the room.
I just have to trick him, right? I don't need to show him I like him or a-anything.
Damn. Can I even trick him even though--
Tss. I should think of the trouble once I'm facing it or else I won't function!
Enhancing my senses, I found him somewhere to my right so my feet walked there. I saw Jacob standing on the porch, looking at the dark forest and the tiny lights of the Shadow City up ahead.
I bit my lip as I watch his back facing me. I know he can sense me standing here but the dog was not giving any attention to me at all!
Hmp! Whatever!
I cleared my throat and I saw Jacob's body stiffened. Ow? Don't tell me he's so drowned with thoughts that he really didn't noticed my presence?
His feet moved and his body turned to me. I saw his hand holding a glass of what I think was a hard liquor. I frowned to the glass before averting my eyes to meet his.
Jacob was already looking at me and I bit my lip from the intensity of his gaze. Damn, why does this bond makes him looks so appealing? Or was it his charm already?
"Uh-" I cleared my throat. What should I tell him? Let's go to bed? Let's go sleep now? Come, cuddle me? Fuck!
Jacob waited for me to speak but when I didn't and looked away, he spoke.
"Come here, Lucianna." he said. His voice was in-between a command and pleading.
I looked at him and when I saw that gentleness in his eyes, I almost believed that he was pleading.
Ha! You won't trick me by those perfect facial features--fuck! Stop praising him!
My brow arched and I crossed my arms on my chest.
"Why would I?" I said with a bitch tone. You can't make me follow your orders, Jacob!
Jacob sighed and I snorted by how he sounded tired.
I watched him sipped on his drink while looking at me and my feet almost took a step back from how… inviting he looks.
Damn! Was he trying to fool me by his, uh, charm? Because I think it's effective!
His tongue clicked after gulping the liquid and then he walked inside the house. I was standing at the living room, facing the door while he was outside.
"You didn't ate dinner." he stated and closed the door without taking his eyes off me.
"I'm not hungry."
He sighed again and walked even closer to me.
If I did not remind myself that I came out of my room to trick him, I might have run inside my room.
"I get why you're acting like this but you shouldn't disregard your health."
I can't read what's on his mind. His face was showing sincerity but the back of my head has gotten used to oppose any positive thoughts of him.
"I'm not weak, you know. I didn't ate for days before and my body did not collapsed like a fragile--" I sighed. What am I saying? "Whatever." I rolled my eyes.
Jacob frowned. "Why did you experienced that?"
"What?" I don't get what he meant.
"Not eating for days. Have you…" he paused for breathe like he needed some. "Did you experience maltreatment with your parents?"
I frowned. "What? No! I'm an orphan so I had dark times like that." I rolled my eyes.
"You're an orphan? Since?"
I froze by his question.
Right. He knew nothing about me. Yeah, he hurt me and made me curl in pain without even bothering to know me.
"None of your business." I snorted and decided to walk away from him.
There was something in him, a vibe that makes me feel he cares. But he doesn't, right? I'll just assume and hope again if I continue to think that way.
Jacob's hand snaked on my waist and he pulled me to him. My back was pressed hard on his chest and I almost stumbled from the impact of his pull.
"What are you doing!?" I angrily snapped and tried to take his arm off me but he didn't let me go. Instead, his other arm hugged my waist, too.
Shit. My heart moved to my ears! I'm sure of it because its beat are so loud which almost deafened me!
"Please don't walk away from me." he whispered.
I froze.
My hand stopped taking his arm off me, and something inside my chest felt… warm. I tried to identify it and hoped it was just the heat but no, I can't feel my core throbbing.
"I'm not perfect, Lucianna. I made my mistake, I showed you my flaw, and I regret all of that now."
I can't speak. My heartbeat was too distracting and his words are confusing me.
"I understand how you feel right now. I… I can't take back what I did, I can't rewind the time, but I can be better…"
I closed my eyes when goosebumps hit me like electricity. My whole body shivered and I'm feeling… weird.
"L-Let go of me…" I said in a weak voice.
I don't know how to respond to him. My mind was not functioning well and I'm too busy analyzing my own emotions right now.
Because…
Why do I feel like my anger has subsided… a bit.
His arms didn't loosened its hold and now I felt his head on my neck, sniffing my scent.
"Lucianna…" he whispered and I closed my eyes from how he sound and how his warmth enveloped me.
"I'm sorry." he uttered the words slowly.
I bit my lip. I am not perfect myself but I never opted to hurting anyone without any reason. And this guy did just that.
To me.
I don't need his sorry. I know that. But this was not the time to let my pride take over, I have a task to do. And if this will do the trick, I'm willing to gamble.
Anything just to free myself from here… from this hell. Even for a while, just to feel myself again.
I sighed and my hand on his arm stopped taking it off me. Jacob freeze and I felt that.
"W-Whatever. I-I'll just drink some water, can I, please?" I closed my eyes shut from how I made my voice soft.
He stood straight and his head left my aching neck now. I exhaled in relief.
"Let me feed you, too." he whispered and his arm left my waist but his hand caught mine and brought me to the kitchen. I let him drag me there.
When I saw his cooked dish, my stomach reminded me how famished I was.
Argh.
I sat on a chair and he put food on a plate. I thought he will give it to me but he offered a spoon with food.
"Open your mouth." he said.
My eyes widened. "I can eat on my own, Jacob!"
"I said I'll feed you." he insisted.
"I did not agree to that. Give me that," then I took the spoon from him. He was hesitant but he gave it to me anyway.
Why was he acting like a mother right now? Does my hands looked weak for him, too, that I can't feed myself?
I ate in silence, uneasy because of Jacob's eyes that gawking at me. Ugh.
Though I was not yet full, I decided to stop eating or else I won't digest the food well.
"I'll take that-"
"I can wash the dishes, too." i cut his words. He slowly nodded and sat slowly at the chair.
His actions are so weird. My forehead kept frowning from thinking what he really was up to.
"Since when were you orphaned?" he suddenly asked.
I turned to look at him for a second before going back to the dishes.
"Eight."
"May I ask what happened to your parents?"
Yeah, right. Like he needed permission to ask. I roll my eyes.
"Rogue attack." I simply said.
"You don't have any relatives? Who took you in--"
"Why are you suddenly curious about me, Jacob?" I asked, cannot hide my irritation now. I looked at him while wiping my hand on the towel.His jaw clenches and I thought he will throw a fit again but he only sighed after a while.
"I'm always curious about you…" he answered.
I rolled my eyes again and he pursed his lips..
"Don't try to be nice now. I'm not buying it." I gave him a cold stare.
"I'm not trying to be nice, Lucianna. I just know we can begin again." his eyes looked at me seriously, like telling me that he was sincere and I should believe it.
I have no time for this.
"Fine! I have no other relatives and I lived on my own with the aid of our pack. Now, please stop asking about my past. I don't want to remember any of it now."
I'm scared that he might ask how I survive all of it and the only answer I know was because I was waiting for my mate, which was technically him.
Jacob slowly nodded and sighed. "Alright. I won't ask about it again." then he stood up and walked to me.
"Why are you always closing our distance?" I asked and took a step back. I'm not comfortable with his presence, more so of his warmth next to me.
Jacob arched his brow and smirked.
"Because I'm done battling with myself, Lucianna. And now, I want to do what I really wanted… since you came."
I bit my lip and try to absorb his words. So this was what he wanted from the start? To get close to me, to hug me and talk to me and get to know me?
My! I wanted to laugh how far his words now and his actions before.
"Whatever, Jacob." I just said, I can't take off my mask now. I need to take him to bed and tuck him in the blanket so I can fucking meet Dylan by the hill at right time.
"If you…want to know something about me, you can ask." he said carefully before stopping in front of me and holding my elbow gently.
I flinched but I did not take his hand away.
Yeah, just like that, enjoy the touches, Jacob. Make yourself comfortable and out of doubt because I have a meeting waiting.
"I-I just want to go to bed." I said and looked at him.
Jacob pursed his lips and I don't know if he was trying to suppress a smile or what.
"We'll go to bed, then."
I blushed from how it sounded but then I let him drag me to his room. We walk slowly and his hand was on mine.
Damn.
The moment I entered his room, my lungs are filled with his scent. It's suffocating but in a fucking good way. I refrained myself from snorting.
Great! Now I have to fight my own devil by not being tempted with this sweet agonizing scent!
Ugh!
His room was huge. Bigger than mine. He have a mini living room inside the room, his own bathroom and a huge king-sized bed. And a study table with bookshelves on one side.
I know this room was bigger than my former room but it does not feel… lonely. I was not scared, not like before.
Is it because I know I'll share it with someone now?
I don't… know.
"I-I'll take the couch…" I whispered.
He looked at me with a frown. "No. We're sharing my bed."
I shook my head frantically.
"I don't want that, I-I--"
"If you're scared that we might complete the mating with me, don't worry. I won't force you to something you won't like." he said as if reading my mind.
But that's not the point!
"What i-if my heat comes? I have no control of--"
"I have. Don't worry, please, I just want to sleep with you next to me. I haven't slept for days, Lucianna."
I bit my lip.
"L-Like I can help with that…" I want to sound snob but my voice came out weak.
Jacob chuckled and shook his head as if in disbelief. "Believe me, I know you can. Now, come here." he sat on the bed and extended his hand to me.
I looked at him. Hesitating.
Jacob sighed and tapped the bed next to him.
"I won't do anything to you, Lucianna. If your heat rises, I will take care of you but I won't let us do something you don't…really want."
My cheeks flushed and I looked away from him. The images of his kisses and the way his hands already explored my body somehow makes me hot.
Damn.
Jacob sighed when I did not move so he stood up and pulled me to the bed.
He made me lay down and cover me with his blanket. I sniffed it slowly so he won't notice that I am loving his scent.
I watched Jacob took off his shirt while walking to the other side of the bed.
My eyes widened.
"W-Why are you taking off your s-shirt!" shit, I can't stop stuttering!
Jacob smirked and pursed his lips after. "I can't sleep with a shirt on, baby." his voice sounds teasing. "Without any clothes, actually but I won't make you feel uncomfortable that way."
I blushed even more and just covered myself with the blanket. Jacob laughed and I felt my face heated even more.
Fucking hell. He doesn't need to take all of his clothes off just to make me feel uncomfortable! Being with him in a room was enough to cause chaos in my head!
I felt the bed moved and I flinched when I felt Jacob's body close to mine. His arm was touching mine and I bit my lip as I cursed in my head.
He's so close!
I hastily took the blanket off my head and looked at him with narrowed eyes.
"Move away! Your bed was too big, for pete's sake!!"
He shrugged and moved even closer.
"My bed, my rules." he smirked.
"Then I'll just sleep on my room--"
My words was hanged in the air when his arm moved to my stomach. He's laying on his side and facing me. There's still a playful look in his face!
"No, Lucianna. You have me now, you won't feel your bed cold anymore so just let us be this close…"
His eyes was looking at me with too much gentleness. I couldn't take it.
I covered my face with the blanket when I felt my eyes burning from the tears that building up.
It… sounds so nice. So warm…
But if he locks me with this rock-hard arm, how can I sneak out later?